William

Lynch, from Kesgrave in Suffolk, sent us a couple of examples where logic seems to have taken a day off.

We’re all for keeping our railways and stations safe, but bearing in mind the signage above, the positioning of the safety notices on these steps at Ealing Broadway seems somewhat contrary.

William notes: “The puzzle is why they ask us to hold the handrail and not to run, when they’re forbidding us to enter at all?”

Sadly, we get the feeling that not every passenger is as law-abiding as William, and may well ignore all three safety requests!

Never mind, he also offers us “the perfect example of a dumb automatic announcement straight from the Department of Mindless Repetition of the Bleeding Obvious”.

Which is? “The one I heard in a Class 165 at every single stop on the Greenford shuttle: ‘Please do not attempt to board or leave the train when the doors are closing’!”

Sadly, we get the feeling many passengers will choose to ignore that one, too!

Meanwhile, ex-BR man Geoff Clarke tells us that back in the summer he caught a routine admonition to ‘customers’ - or at least admits that he “half caught and misheard it”.

‘Customers are reminded that due to Elven Safety they should not run on any platform, or stare at Euston station’, is what Geoff heard.

He adds: “Poor Euston, so shy, so victimised. The metaphysical moment did not last, but the mundane station has never been quite the same since.”

Never mind poor, mundane Euston, Geoff. We’re more concerned with the plight of those elves!