Silly station announcements: see it, say it, sorted

I have long felt that there are too many announcements on both trains and stations. Their repetitiveness can lead to the brain switching off, so effectively none of them is actually heard.

On many stations, it isn’t just that trains are being announced, but when there is a short break between them we are subjected to all the messages about taking care of slipping on wet surfaces, or the dangers of running on stairs, as if none of us has common sense.

Catchphrases can also be a nuisance. Probably the worst is the latest safety announcement that ends: “See it, say it, sorted.” The intention is good, but it overlooks the capacity of the mind to switch off after hearing it over and over again.

A start could at least be made by thinning meaningless announcements such as Waterloo’s long-standing ridiculous bulletins of “Kingston roundabout” arrivals.

For many years services have been shown in timetables as operating half-hourly from Waterloo to Waterloo, out via Wimbledon and back via Richmond (with another half-hourly set in reverse). So, the 1427 to Kingston via Wimbledon gets back to Waterloo via Richmond at 1546. What will be announced on arrival is, for example: “The train arriving in Platform 18 is the 1546 from Waterloo. This train terminates here.”

It has several errors but, in any case, this is a useless statement we could all do without. For a start 1546 is its arrival time, whereas a “1546 from” anywhere implies a departure time.

However, its chief reason for being a waste

of time, and therefore merely a distraction, is in saying that a train from Waterloo has traversed an unstated circle and is just arriving back. So what? There are other roundabouts like out Hounslow and back Richmond, so it could have been one of those.

Finally, what possible purpose can there be in saying that an arrival at a terminus “terminates here”? If they really wanted it to be meaningful it could easily become: “The train arriving in Platform 18 is the 1427 from Waterloo via Kingston.” It’s shorter, too.

South Western Railway has already made some improvements. Over the years I was always annoyed with the description of a stop in Windsor trains as “Ashford Middlesex”, when that county was abolished in 1965. Much of it was absorbed into Greater London, but parts into other shire counties - and Ashford itself went into Surrey.

I asked South West Trains several times to change the announcement to “Ashford Surrey” but it was always on the “too difficult” list. SWR changed it within a fortnight!