Confessions from the tanning booth

Having seen thousands of naked bodies, spray tanner to the stars Jules Von Hep has a unique perspective: your body is more beautiful than you think

Your body is more beautiful than you think, says pro tanner Jules Von Hep

Hi, I’m Jules and I look at hundreds of naked women every week. I’ve lost count of how many breasts, bottoms and bare-naked vaginas I’ve come face to face with, but it’s probably something on a par with the calories in a slice of red velvet cake – millions! I make a living as a spray tanner, helping women feel gorgeous by giving their skin a lovely sun-kissed hue. I’m gay, so the nudity required is completely wasted on me, but it has given me a unique insight into the beauty – and insecurities – of women.

Having worked in the fashion industry for over a decade, I’ve seen it all, from a casting director telling a model to throw up to make her stomach flatter, to celebrity clients floored by a tabloid story claiming they’ve put on weight. It’s crazy and cruel that weight, shape or clothes size has the ability to annihilate self-esteem in one fell blow.

When I first started tanning, it blew my mind that almost every female client who stepped into my tanning booth brought with her a ‘bad’ body disclaimer: “Sorry about my stretchmarks/saggy boobs/big bum”. You don’t get that with men. But if you think any of these perceived flaws are an ‘issue’, you have to believe me when I say they’re not. On the contrary, the more bodies I see, the more gorgeous I see that they all are. Real bodies are the point, not the ones we see in curated images.

I’VE SPRAY-TANNED A LOT OF A-LISTERS and what the actresses look like on the monitor by the end of the shoot and what they look like in the tanning booth with a paper hat and knickers on at the very beginning could be two very different things. Make-up, lights, filters, post-production… all these conceal reality. So we have to always, always remember that the world of images – from TV to Instagram and everything in between – is designed to conceal reality and add the element of perfection, so you shouldn’t measure yourself against it.

It’s also worth considering the role of curated imagery within the context of the real world. It serves as a blank canvas for us to project onto, so it has to adhere to certain norms and also be, to some extent, bland. Smooth and smoother. This becomes very clear when you see as many naked women as I do. Each one is so unique and storied that she couldn’t possibly be used to make a quick sell: real bodies are too interesting and complex.

On a more prosaic note, I should add that, the thing a woman is apologising for is almost certainly not the thing I notice about her.

You’re apologising for your jelly belly or cellulite, I’m noticing a lovely vibe, a sweet curve, the strength of your stance. If we can recognise our own unique vibe – the positive one – and harness it, then that’s pretty powerful.

The reality is that your body isn’t half as bad as you think. Whoever you are – famous, followed by thousands, a mum at the school gates or just wonderful you – this is what you’ve got, now go on and own it.

Jules Von Hep is co-host of podcast Jules and Sarah on itunes and is global tanning director for Tan Luxe; @julesvonhep

The more bodies I see, the more GORGEOUS I see that they are. REAL bodies are the point