OUR FAMILY SABBATICAL
For Rachel Mostyn and her family, city life left little time for them to spend together. Until they uprooted to South America for six months – and discovered the power of slowing down
Clasping my daughter Amelia’s hand, we snorkelled in the turquoise waters of the Galapagos Islands, squealing with delight as an enormous turtle swam towards us. My mask filled with tears as I felt the wonder of sharing such a special moment together.
In June 2016, my husband Toby and I, plus our three children – Amelia, 10, Leila, eight, and Joseph, six – upped sticks from our safe, middle-class life in Bristol to spend six months in Ecuador and Peru. Toby and I were 19 and filled with wanderlust when we met, but the reality of babies, mortgages and jobs had stalled our travelling plans. Suddenly we were 40, and it felt like now or never. Our UK life was busy and chaotic; days bookended by snatched time together. Our family mantra was “we’re going to be late”. I longed for quality time together.
Toby and I spoke Spanish, so South America made sense, and
Peru and Ecuador seemed safe. While the kids were reticent to leave friends, they were mostly excited, so we rented our house to cover the mortgage and saved up for flights. We felt nervous about moving them from the security of their UK classrooms, but as well as travelling, the children would attend a local Peruvian school (they’d each had six weeks of language lessons before we arrived and, while there was a lot of miming, they loved the novelty). We also volunteered as English teachers with the charity Otra Cosa Network, an education and social development charity. As ‘digital nomads’ (I work in online content, he’s a computer
programmer), we were able to continue our UK jobs part time.
OUR FIRST STOP WAS CUENCA,
a town in the Ecuadorian mountains where lots of expats live; we thought it would make a ‘gentle’ start. The children were quickly intoxicated by the hustle and bustle of Ecuadorian life, but I’d be lying if I said emotions weren’t mixed. At night they would sometimes be tearful as they talked of life in Bristol and the long wait to see their cat, Chicken. There were moments we wondered if taking them away from everything they knew had been too much of a risk.
But we soon got into a routine. During the school summer holidays, Toby and I woke early to work, spending the rest of the day exploring as a family. Rather than trekking around ancient ruins, Lonely Planetstyle, we made sure we took time just to be. An afternoon wiled away in a dilapidated playground, or building a log boat on the beach made for a happy family life. And we were okay with that – the newfound slowness led to an unexpected lightness between us, and a lot less nagging from me.
OF COURSE, THE BIG MOMENTS WERE UNFORGETTABLE TOO;
whales pirouetting within metres of our boat; trekking to Pastoruri Glacier, which sits 5,200 metres above sea level, and the children cuddling sloths like babies in the Amazon jungle.
And for the first time, Toby and I were properly co-parents. At home, working part-time, I’d always been the default parent, but here we were truly equal. There were testing times, though. Seeing the children’s bewildered faces when thrust into the chaos of the Peruvian education system was hard, but we swelled with pride as they picked up Spanish and made friends, some of whom didn’t even have running water at home.
Ultimately, parenting is the same job wherever you are. The mood swings and tantrums, from all of us, still happened. But out there it really felt like we were one unit rumbling along together, for good or for ill.
When we returned last Christmas, little had changed. It was amazing to see family, but the readjustment took time. Joseph, for one, was scared of the ‘vastness’ of our terraced house compared to the tiny places we had been living in. There are days we still yearn for the freedom of travelling, but we cherish our best souvenir every day; the gift of slowing down, and a new kind of closeness between us all. » Rachel works for Digital Mums, who train mums with digital skills to help them create flexible careers that fit around family life; Digitalmums.com
Rather than TREKKING around ancient ruins, Lonely-planet style, we took TIME just to BE