LOVE YOURSELF EVERY DAY

It’s time for a self-care revolution, say sisters Nadia Narain and Katia Narain Phillips. Because once you connect what you do for yourself every day with your wellbeing, it becomes powerful, as Brigid Moss finds out

It’s time to wise up to wellbeing

Taking time for yourself is not a waste of time. It is essential,” says yoga teacher Nadia Narain. “And because the value of self-care is nothing to do with money, but is measured in time and kindness and love to yourself, it doesn’t have to cost a fortune,” says her sister, healthy chef Katia Narain Phillips.

Their book, Self-care For The Real World, was inspired by a famous quote from US activist Audre Lorde. “I have come to believe that caring for myself is not self-indulgent, caring for myself is an act of survival.” Katia says: “We realised we’ve been doing and teaching this stuff for years, and it was time to share that.” The book is a compilation of their wisdom, and divided into real world categories, so you know where to dive in: for break-ups, for loss, for friendship issues, for dealing with families, for travelling, for after work, for mornings and evenings, to get good sleep.

We’re sitting in Nadia’s Primrose Hill flat, a 10-minute walk from Triyoga, where she started teaching yoga when it opened in 2000, and where Katia runs the Nectar café. “Self-care is about learning what works for you, identifying the small, powerful changes you can make that will transform the way you feel,” says Nadia. “Self-care grows your bank account of resources, giving you something in reserve when life puts you into debt.” What is ironic, Katia adds, is that when people are most in need of self-care, when hard things happen, that’s often when they’re least likely to self-care. “So when you

are feeling good, that’s when it’s important to resource yourself,” she says.

For Nadia and Katia, self-care isn’t just physical, but mental and emotional too, so it includes the way you talk to yourself and the way you deal with difficult situations

when you’re feeling low. Their advice is practical; they know that not everyone wants to meditate. Nadia does every day, but Katia prefers to relax by cooking and walking her dog for an hour a day. “That’s my time to be fully aware of my mood and emotions, and quiet my overactive thoughts,” she says. “Like a lot of working mums, I’ve learnt to use that limited time carefully.”

You might be thinking it’s easy for them, when they have access to unlimited yoga and delicious food. Nadia has four best-selling DVDS, and she’s taught Reese Witherspoon, Sam Taylor-johnson and Kate Moss. Katia runs her café and is a full-time mum to two boys, Jonah, 10 and Huxley, eight. But shit happens to everyone. Nadia’s flat had been burgled the day before we meet. “I have learnt the best way for me to deal with this is by cleaning and wiping the fingerprints where the police had been, diffusing lemongrass oil to clear the energy and taking a bath to feel myself in my home as quickly as possible. Self-care helps you respond in a way that works.”

“Some people get taught self-confidence and self-love – we had to learn these things for ourselves,” says Katia. The sisters were born and raised in Hong Kong in the ’80s; their parents divorced when Nadia was five and Katia was two. “We both found life at home difficult,”

“SELF-CARE IS ABOUT IDENTIFYING SMALL, POWERFUL CHANGES”

says Katia. Nadia left home just before she was 16 to model and travel. Katia trained as a massage therapist in Hong Kong and Thailand, and ended up in London via LA and Hawaii, where she learnt to prepare raw food. They both agree that food is one of the most powerful ways to self-care. “It’s not about restricting food or giving things up, it’s about moderation and eating for the right reasons, not because you’re hungry or bored,” says Nadia. Self-care is about finding a loving attitude to food, they agree. “Start doing more nice things for yourself regularly and it will become a habit, and then you’ll start to feel the effects,” adds Nadia. “Let the good things grow.” Start slowly and do one self-caring thing a day. As Katia says, “What could you do today to be more caring for yourself?”

Self-care For The Real World by Nadia Narain and Katia Narain Phillips is out now (Hutchinson, £16.99). @selfcarefortherealworld

A MEDITATION FOR HEALING

• Lie flat on your back and close your eyes.

• Relax your whole body and allow the bed beneath you to support you fully.

• Focus on each organ of the body and imagine healing energy and light filling that organ. Give thanks to each organ in turn – your liver, your heart, your lungs, and so on – for all it does for you.

• Fill your whole body, from your toes to the crown of your head, with the sensation of light and peace.

• Send gratitude and healing to the whole of your being.

SELF-CARE FOR EVERY SINGLE DAY AT THE END OF A HORRIBLE OR BUSY DAY.

Change your energy from outside to inside as soon as you get home. Take your shoes off, undress and shower or bathe or at least wash your hands. Get dressed in special inside clothes – we’ve got a drawer for ours – pyjamas, sweats, big cosy jumpers and soft socks.

WHEN YOUR MIND IS SPINNING OUT. Get outside into a green space. Walking in nature, whether in a park or the countryside has a magic effect on your spirit.

DURING STRESSFUL MOMENTS. Try this for calmness. Breathe in for four counts, then out for four. Breathe in for four, and increase the exhalation to six. Then breathe in for four and increase your exhalation to eight. Breathe in for four, out for six. Breathe in for four and out for four.

GOING INTO A DIFFICULT SITUATION. Create a protective energy shield. Before you go into the situation, visualise a protective sleeping bag and imagine yourself getting into it then zipping yourself up from the ground to the top of your head.

AFTER A DAY IN HEELS. Take off your shoes and sit on a chair. Stretch one leg out and rotate the foot eight times one way, then eight times the other. Bend that knee and cross the ankle over the opposite knee, then rub your foot all over. Change legs. Or stand and lean your hands against a wall. Rise on to the balls of your feet and release down. Repeat 15 times.

WHEN YOU’RE RUNNING ON EMPTY. Rest in the dark. Set your alarm for five minutes, lie down

on your bed, close the curtains and put on a sleep mask to block out all light. And just rest.

IF THE WORLD FEELS OVERWHELMING. Read a few paragraphs or pages of an inspirational book. Keep a pile next to your bed or desk or on a table next to your favourite chair. Choose books that make you feel joyful.

IF YOU ARE STUCK AT YOUR DESK ALL DAY. Every hour, move around and check in with your posture. Sit up, feet on the floor, and take a few deep breaths. Open up from collarbone to collarbone, and make sure your chin isn’t collapsing forwards and your jaw is relaxed. This relaxes your shoulders and gives your lungs, digestive system and organs room to work.

WHEN YOU CAN’T SLEEP. Do a full-body squeeze and release. Lie on your back in bed, stretch your legs out, make fists, scrunch up your face and squeeze all of your muscles up tight, creating as much tension as you can in your body. Then release everything. Repeat it twice more.

AFTER A BIG DAY. Add three or four drops each of chamomile and lavender oils to a tablespoon of milk in a jar. Put on the lid and give it a good shake, then add to a bath. Or, use one or two cups of apple cider vinegar.

THE 30-SECOND BODY SCAN Do this scan a few times a day to check in with your body, to help you know how you feel – and what to do to feel better.

A lot of self-care is simply about noticing things about yourself – whether it’s your body or your mind. If you don’t check in with yourself, you may beat yourself up for not being on top form, or blame the world or other people for your mood. If you notice how you are, you can deal with it, maybe by planning a walk or healthy snacks or more rest. As you do this scan more, it gets easier.

• Sit still with your feet on the ground, eyes closed. Pay attention to your breath. How does your energy feel? How does your body feel? What is your posture like? Are you clenching your jaw? Or any other part of your body? What is your mood? Do you have any pain or discomfort? How do you feel emotionally? Are you craving sugar or tea or coffee? Don’t judge, just notice.

• Ask yourself how you could feel better. Do you need to drink water? Do you need to step away from the computer and walk around for a couple of minutes. (If you do feel pain, don’t ignore it, as pain is your body’s warning signal. See a healthcare practitioner).

THE SELF-CARE WAY OF EATING

Feeding yourself nourishing food is a very simple way to show yourself some love and care every day. When we talk to clients, they often tell us, “Oh I need to give up sugar or stop drinking coffee or eating chocolate or wheat”. We really believe a positive attitude to food doesn’t mean restricting what you eat. We see people who are obsessively healthy – we were once those people, too – but we’ve learnt from experience that it’s not so much about what you’re eating but how you’re eating it. Are you eating from a place of love and nourishment? Or out of punishment or ideas of good and bad? Try to cultivate a calmness around food, and resist being too restrictive or giving yourself a hard time about what you’re eating. Be mindful while you’re eating and, afterwards, pay attention to how you feel. Notice sugar and caffeine give you a kick but followed by a crash. Work out what foods leave you feeling good and full of energy.

TWO FEEL-GOOD SELF-CARE DISHES Try this quick supper recipe for a little shot of delicious goodness. And when you have a little more time, the chocolate cake is the ultimate treat. SALMON SKEWERS WITH GREEK-STYLE RICE AND YOGHURT DRESSING

A super-easy, quick supper. If you’re using salmon fillets from the supermarket, choose thick ones, slice off the skin and cube. Serves 4 For the skewers Juice of 1 lemon

1 tbsp olive oil

2 garlic cloves, crushed and finely chopped 16 salmon cubes 1 courgette, sliced vertically then into half moons

8 cherry tomatoes

1/2 onion, sliced vertically into three

Salt and pepper

100g plain yoghurt, to serve

For the rice

1 tbsp butter

1 tbsp olive oil

1/2 onion, finely chopped 200g easy-cook brown rice

“ASK YOURSELF HOW YOU COULD FEEL BETTER”

500ml chicken or vegetable stock Small bunch of parsley, chopped 1 tbsp lemon juice

1 Mix the lemon juice, olive oil and garlic in a bowl. Add the rest of the skewer ingredients and season. Cover and marinate in the fridge for 30 minutes. Put four wooden skewers in water to soak.

2 On a low heat, add the butter and olive oil to a pan and sauté the onion for 10-15 minutes. Add the rice and sizzle for five minutes – stir so it doesn’t stick.

3 Add the stock, cover, and bring to the boil. Uncover and turn down to a simmer. Cook for 20 minutes until all the water has nearly evaporated. Turn off the heat, put on the lid and let the rice sit for 15 minutes.

4 Preheat the grill and line with foil, turn to high. Thread the skewers with the salmon and vegetables and reserve the marinade. Grill for 10 minutes, turning twice or three times for even cooking.

5 Heat the marinade until just boiling, and add to the yoghurt.

6 Add the parsley and the lemon juice to the rice, stir through. Serve with skewers on top and sauce on the side.

BEETROOT CHOCOLATE CAKE

A deeply satisfying chocolate cake with a touch of earthiness from the iron-rich beetroot. This cake is so well-loved at the Nectar café that it’s taken on a personality of its own – we call it the Iron Maiden.

Serves 8

200g butter

200g 70% dark chocolate, broken into chunks

250g cooked beetroot (vacuum packed, no vinegar)

5 eggs

250g coconut sugar or light muscovado

1 tsp baking powder

1/4 tsp vanilla extract 240g ground almonds Rose petals, to decorate (optional)

1 Preheat the oven to 190°C/gas mark 5. Line a 20cm cake tin with baking parchment.

2 Melt the butter and chocolate in a glass bowl set over a pan of gently simmering water; make sure the bowl doesn’t touch the water. Remove the bowl from the pan and leave to cool.

3 Blitz the beetroot to a purée in a food processor. Add the eggs, sugar, baking powder and vanilla to the bowl. Add the chocolate and butter mixture and pulse until mixed. Add the ground almonds and a pinch of salt, pulse to combine.

4 Pour the batter into the tin. Bake for 35-45 minutes until it doesn’t wobble (a crack on the top is fine). Sprinkle over the petals, if using.

“TRY TO CULTIVATE A CALMNESS AROUND FOOD, AND RESIST BEING RESTRICTIVE”