THE SACRED SEX REVOLUTION

CHAKRUBS, SEX DUST AND MEDIBATION (THAT’S MEDITATION AND MASTURBATION) – THE NEW FRONTIER BETWEEN THE SHEETS IS WHERE SEX MEETS SPIRITUALITY, SAYS WRITER RUBY WARRINGTON

Ruby Warrington delves under the duvet of spiritual sex

‘My current practice is to pull a card to masturbate to.’ Alessandra Calderin is a Brooklyn-based tarot reader and yogini, and we’re chatting at the launch party for the new Four Bodies Wellness programme at The James Hotel in lower Manhattan. ‘Well that’s… different.’ I ask her to expand. ‘For example, for the super blood Moon in Leo last week, I meditated on the Strength card (relating to a woman’s mastery of her sexual power) and the Star card (for overall healing), and let those two archetypes guide me as I touched myself,’ she explains, toying with the straw in her cocktail. Smiling, she adds, ‘It may feel weird at first, but once you get into the groove, the images take on a life of their own.’ Welcome to the world of sacred sex – the provocative new frontier of the #selfcare movement and the conversation where wellness meets modern spirituality. If the Four Bodies programme at The James is designed to address wellbeing on a physical, mental, emotional and spiritual level (sex tarot not included), then a healthy sex life is increasingly considered an integral part of this.

From crystal yoni eggs to sex dust and shamanic womb rituals, women everywhere are seeking ways to awaken our bodies – and our orgasms specifically – as powerful tools for manifestation and empowerment. Many see this as a reclaiming of ourselves as sexual beings, having had our sexuality objectified by a patriarchal society for centuries.

The emergence of sex and sexual pleasure as a spiritual practice also reflects a mass embracing of spirituality from a secular perspective. After all, the view of sex as something shameful has negative repercussions. ‘Just growing up in a sex negative culture, where sex is considered ‘bad’ or ‘dirty’, can create a trauma response in people around sex,’ explains sexuality mentor Alexandra Roxo. I was reminded exactly how ingrained this is when acupuncturist Sandra Lanshin prescribed me a ‘30-day self-pleasure diet’ after I went to her with chronic neck and shoulder tension, also hoping her treatments might help regulate my menstrual cycle. ‘Women’s bodies are designed to feel physical pleasure, including sexual pleasure. We need it to function properly,’ she told me.

After all, ‘When we are truly rooted in our pleasure, comfortable and excited, our minds go into a state of meditation, a place that is anxiety free,’ says Vanessa Cuccia, whose company Chakrubs makes crystal dildos. ‘This allows for an unblocked flow of energy… powerful medicine for our chakra, endocrine and nervous systems.’ But I only got as far as day three of my ‘diet’, the practice of daily self-pleasuring feeling silly at first, then indulgent and laden with shame. However, researching the subject for my book

Material Girl, Mystical World,

I discovered that for the ancient Daoist monks, ‘sexual sagehood’ was considered a vital part of ‘self-cultivation’ – up there with surrender, harmony and integrity. The act of ‘solo meditative sexual alchemy’ (masturbation) a way to ‘(use) our tangible sexual essence to capture the invisible essence of our spirit.’

This might sound awfully out-there and a touch woo-woo if this is your first encounter with spiritual sex, but trust me – the benefits are all real. For men, masturbation is a rite of passage into adulthood; having regular ‘maintenance sex’ considered as necessary as breathing. Women connecting to sex as a spiritual practice and part of a holistic wellness regime could be seen as something of a leveller. But the implications, say the experts, are far more exciting.

‘Sex energy is powerful magic. It’s pure joy and ecstasy, particularly at the moment of orgasm,’ says Kate Sloane, creator of the Girly Juice blog. Writing about the practice of ‘sex magic’, she believes that visualising our desires and even saying affirmations out loud during a ‘medibation’ session is the fast-track to manifesting our desires – from the perfect partner, to a dream career.

Curious? Here are seven ways to join the revolution…

‘IT’S THE NEW FRONTIER OF THE #SELFCARE MOVEMENT’