HOW TO OVERCOME SELF-SABOTAGE
Does your negative inner voice stop you from achieving the things you want? It’s time to banish the ‘limiting beliefs’ that hold us back, says author Hazel Gale
Time to banish those limiting beliefs that are holding you back
Eight years ago, you might have found me slumped on the sofa, suffering from allergies I’d never had and unable to tolerate other people. My eyes hurt, my head ached, and my sex drive was a distant memory. Back then, I was a competitive boxer and kickboxer, but I was experiencing an emotional and physical burnout. After winning a national title in kickboxing in 2008, aged 28, I was preparing to defend it the following year when I got ill with what felt like a never-ending virus. At the tournament, I couldn’t compete properly and lost almost immediately. It was awful, but the loss made me fight failure even harder – I’d run 10-mile sprints and hit the treadmill at 2am, which, when you’re exhausted, is the worst thing to do. The truth is, I was desperate to achieve. The need for something you’ve decided you want is much stronger than the pain it’s causing, so, like a robot, you keep doing it. You feel downtrodden, tired, and resign yourself to life as it is. In short, you self-sabotage.
I saw a few different GPS, but hit a brick wall. In despair, I sought out alternative treatments, including homeopathy, acupuncture, and dietary changes, but none were the fix I was looking for. Then, someone suggested I try cognitive hypnotherapy, which uses neuroscience and psychology to help people overcome limiting beliefs. It’s designed to give you a conscious »
‘I NEEDED TO ACHIEVE’
understanding, while simultaneously helping you get in touch with the unconscious mind using techniques such as visualisation. In 2010, I met the founder of Quest Cognitive Hypnotherapy who helped me to understand myself more. Waking up with a start after 30 minutes of sleep wasn’t because of nightmares, it was anxiety. My determination wasn’t strength, it was making me self-sabotage. This self-knowledge made me feel empowered.
One day, in a hypnotherapy session, I had my ‘eureka’ moment, where I realised where the problem started; my father was competitive and heaped praise on me when I achieved success, so my mind had concluded I was loveable and accepted when I won. Understanding how I felt, and why, transformed my personal and professional life. With hypnotherapy, people expect to leave sessions magically cured, but that rarely happens. Initially, I didn’t feel any different, but within a few days I noticed myself waking up in a better mood. At training sessions, my sprint times would be faster, and in sparring sessions I’d feel sharper. My attitude towards a challenge was different; if I had a hard workout ahead of me I’d look forward to the opportunity to expand myself, rather than worry about failure.
Eventually, I qualified as a cognitive hypnotherapist. Now I want to help people overcome their own limiting beliefs. The most common ones I hear are, ‘I’m not good enough,’ or ‘I’m not loveable.’ My goal is to get my clients to understand that negative beliefs they’ve held about themselves their entire lives actually aren’t true. The best part of my job is when a client has an ‘a-ha’ moment; when they see the reality of their problem and it all seems to make sense. The second they realise seemingly unrelated issues – an eating disorder and a fear of dating, or work difficulties and a sexual performance issue – actually have the same root cause can be very emotional.
Once upon a time, I would have told you that Olympic glory was my greatest goal – competitive boxing wasn’t right for me, and my years competing unearthed who I really was. Removing my blocking beliefs helped me be the best version of myself. Now I want to help you do the same…