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Alison Green teaches us how to approach tricky work conversations

Conversations with YOUR BOSS WHEN YOUR BOSS SEEMS UNHAPPY WITH YOUR WORK

Sometimes it’s clear: you’re getting a lot of critical feedback or they tell you directly they’re concerned, or both. Other times you might have a sense your boss is dissatisfied without having anything concrete to point to, or you might not know if the amount of criticism you’re getting is normal. In any case, don’t fret in silence. If there are concerns, it’s better to know and address them. If not, you’re denying yourself peace of mind by staying quiet. Here are some ways to approach the situation:

‘I’m getting the sense you are concerned about how I’m handling X and Y. If so, I’d really like to talk it through with you and get your feedback.’

‘I might be misreading the situation, but you seemed disappointed with how project X went. Could we talk about your opinion of it?’

‘Is this the amount and type of feedback you would normally expect to give to the person in my role, or am I having a tougher time than you would generally expect?’

WHEN YOUR BOSS EXPECTS YOU TO BE ON EMAIL OUT OF HOURS

By setting boundaries, you can effectively push back and recover time for yourself. First, make sure you’re interpreting your boss’s expectations correctly. If you receive an email at night or over the weekend, there’s a good chance they don’t actually expect you to reply until office hours. They might be working and sending you questions as they come up, but not expecting you to deal with them then and there. The first step is to say: ‘I’m assuming it’s fine to reply to emails sent at night or over the weekend when I’m back at work, unless something is obviously urgent. Let me know if that’s not the case!’

But if your boss does expect out-of-hours responses, say something like: ‘It’s really important to me to recharge outside of work. Sometimes that means turning off my phone or not checking email for the weekend. I’ll put in extra hours when something is an emergency, but I’d like to respond to non-urgent things when I’m back at work. Could we try that and see how it goes?’

If the answer is no, then you need to decide if you want the job. Often, though, there will be more flexibility than you initially thought.