MAKE YOUR EMOTIONS WORK FOR YOU Can understanding your feelings help you succeed at work?

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Polite and impartial with a pinch of emotional detachment; these traits are stereotypically associated with professionalism. They chime with a sort of ‘suppress your emotions, smile on and power through’ approach, making it easy to forget that the actual definition of professional conduct is simply to behave appropriately for a particular job. There is an ingrained idea that in order to succeed, we must quash our emotions before they reach the surface, or hide them from our colleagues. But psychologist Dr Audrey Tang disputes the idea that this is a good career move. ‘If we do not find a way to express our emotions in a measured manner, they will find their way out and may cause bigger problems,’ she explains. In fact, research from academics at George Mason and Northeastern universities in the US shows that people who can fully experience and work through their emotions are less likely to turn to coping mechanisms, such as binge drinking or aggression, or experience anxiety and depression. Instead, stopping to consider what we feel, and why, in different situations could be the key to understanding what we really want from our jobs. ‘Unpack the emotion, and your next decision becomes more effective,’ agrees Dr Tang. Here’s how to tune into five of the most intense workplace emotions and work out what they may really mean for you.

‘WE SHOULD IDENTIFY THE ATTRIBUTES IN OTHERS THAT TRIGGER OUR ENVY’

ANGER

We’ve all felt those flashes of anger that lead to a conflicting desire between expressing rage and keeping our jobs. Experiencing anger at work not only risks anti-social interactions, it can also colour our judgement. In their book, No Hard Feelings: Emotions at Work,

Liz Fosslien and Mollie West Duffy explain that we are less willing to take advice and more likely to make mistakes when we’re angry. So rather than repeatedly repressing our anger, we should try to control it in the moment, but then reflect on what triggered it. To help with this, Dr Tang recommends using a ‘body scan’ technique, which involves lying down and noticing how all the parts of our bodies feel when neutral. This type of reflection could help us recognise physical imbalances that signal when emotional pressure is beginning to set in. According to psychologists, perceived unfairness can be a key factor in triggering anger so, if that’s the case, it may be time to address any inequalities in your workload. And getting annoyed by tasks that feel menial or repetitive could indicate that you’ve hit a glass ceiling and it’s time to explore what the next step is for your career. But if you constantly have a short fuse, your lifestyle, rather than your co-workers, could be the inner instigator. ‘Take time to reflect on when you are and aren’t feeling irritable, and on what the real cause may be,’ says Dr Tang.

JEALOUSY

If you’re feeling disproportionate agitation about an otherwise (irritatingly) delightful co-worker, first identify whether jealousy is the cause. ‘Envy reveals your values,’ say Fosslien and West Duffy. They explain that negative feelings towards someone could be because they have qualities or skills that we desire for ourselves. ‘We live in a comparison culture,’ agrees Dr Tang. ‘Too often we focus on the person rather than on what they represent to us.’ Instead, we should identify the attributes in others that trigger our envy, then turn the focus back to our own desires and goals.

RESTLESSNESS

Restlessness and boredom often go hand in hand and, at work, the dream-chaser within us can start aching to chuck it all in and try somewhere new. Be warned, though, as according to Dr Tang, there is no guarantee that the same feeling won’t follow you to the next job. For Fosslien and West Duffy, the solution is something altogether different. ‘If you’re feeling unmotivated by your job, it’s time for some tough love: you’ve probably given up on learning.’ Their advice? Re-engage and push yourself to explore fresh avenues of opportunity where you already are, before you decide to throw in the towel.

PROCRASTINATION

Putting off tasks can leave us in a whirlwind of last-minute despair and, often worse, fending off accusations of laziness. But rather than indicating a lack of motivation and productivity, procrastination could involve something deeper. ‘Go back to your childhood and think about when you were praised. If it was mainly when you did well, then the likelihood is that your procrastination is about fearing failure,’ explains Dr Tang. Sometimes, what we care about most can be what we’re most fearful of addressing. Tackling procrastination is about regaining control over our fear of failure, and that starts with accepting our susceptibilities. ‘Through vulnerability, we are able to be strong,’ says Dr Tang. So we should start by being kinder to ourselves, and let go of any unrealistic expectations we may have about our careers.

REGRET

While regret may be bitter and even haunting, surprisingly, it might not mean we’ve made the wrong decision, says Dr Tang. Instead it could signal a dissatisfaction with our situation in the present. So pause and reconsider. If you retrace your steps, you may find that you have gained something through the path you took that you would otherwise have missed out on.

What seems like regret may really be a fleeting incarnation of jealousy or FOMO (fear of missing out): for instance, when we see somebody make a covetable career move that pays off. But Dr Tang cautions, ‘There is no guarantee that, had we chosen different paths, our lives would have been what we perceive others to have.’ Regretting our decisions won’t propel us anywhere else, but Fosslien and West Duffy suggest it could be a useful forward-planning tool. They recommend that, before making a big decision, we ask ourselves whether we’d regret not taking that chance in 10 years’ time. ‘This works because it forces us to try to picture where we’d like to be,’ says West Duffy. Often, envisioning the future can help us reframe our ambitions.