Kelly Rowland on why staying sane DESTINY FULFILLED
SHE MAY HAVE 115m RECORD SALES, FOUR GRAMMYS, AN ACTING CAREER AND NOW JUDGING ON THE VOICE AUSTRALIA UNDER HER BELT, BUT AS KELLY ROWLAND TELLS KATE WILLS, HER GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT TO DATE IS STAYING SANE
is her proudest achievement
Kelly Rowland wants joy. ‘It’s not even happiness, I want pure joy,’ she says, reeling off a list of things that make her feel that way. ‘My husband’s eyes, the smile on my son’s face, being on the beach, sitting in the sun, being in the studio… these give me joy.’ While it’s become a cliché for celebrities (particularly Americans) to gush about gratitude and how ‘#blessed’ they are, Rowland radiates a genuine joie de vivre. ‘I don’t take any moment for granted. It could’ve been a different trajectory for me and I’m grateful that I still have fans who want to listen to my music and want to see me perform.’
Although it’s late at night when we talk and she’s in a car in rainy Sydney, where Rowland is living while she films her fourth series of The Voice Australia, she sounds full of the energy that made her such a hit as a judge on the UK version of The X Factor in 2011. She’s also wrapping up her fifth album, after a seven-year break.
It’s been 23 years since Destiny’s Child burst on to the scene with the finger-wagging sass of their first hit single No, No, No. In 2018, Kelly dug out the sparkly hot pants and knee-high boots to join Beyoncé for a DC medley on stage at Coachella. ‘When I got the call, it was totally a “Duh” moment,’ she laughs. ‘We started rehearsals and we didn’t miss a beat. We got on that Coachella stage and lit it up! That shit was fun! It felt like we were on stage for all of 30 seconds, it went so fast. It was funny because when we came up on the elevator, my inner ears [earphones] were in, so I couldn’t hear anything. I remember having a good time with the girls but I couldn’t tell if the crowd were having a good time. I asked my assistant, “Did they like it?” She looked at me with full tears in her eyes and said, “Liked it? It was amazing!”
It was good to say thank you to the fans with a surprise.’
Destiny’s Child’s message of female empowerment captured a mood that still resonates today. ‘We were young girls with something to say; we were growing before everyone’s eyes,’ says Rowland. ‘For an 18-year-old girl to say, “All the women who are independent, throw your hands up at me,” that’s a moment. We were solidifying our womanhood, figuring things out. We were the voice of young women, supporting other females, and that’s what we were all about.’
While the group launched Rowland’s career, it sent Beyoncé’s stratospheric, which Rowland notes graciously: ‘She and I have known each other since we were little kids, 10 years of age, so to have a friendship that spans that long is just beautiful and to see our own kids running around is very special.’ Rowland thinks the reason for Destiny’s Child’s success – 75m record sales, three Grammy awards – was their famously fastidious work ethic. ‘We worked our butts off,’ she says. ‘We grinded it out! We worked 15-hour days in promo, performances, rehearsals. I would get tired, but the others would say, “Come on, Kel, let’s go!’’’
She’s still good friends with her other Destiny’s bandmate, Michelle Williams. ‘Honestly, we’re the closest of close,’ she
says. ‘Her, myself, Bey, Solange, Angie [Beyince, Beyoncé’s cousin], Tina [Knowles], we’re a crew.’ Rowland moved in with the Knowles family when she was 14 and had a ‘difficult’ relationship with her mother. She calls Tina ‘Mama T’ – Tina walked her down the aisle and was there at the birth of her son, Titan, in 2014 – and Solange and Beyoncé are her ‘sisters’.
Was Solange always this cool, even as a child? ‘Oh, always!’ Rowland laughs, and says they all still meet up regularly. ‘When we get together, we like to eat. Whenever Tina cooks, that’s the favourite meal. It’s food for the soul.’ Any more questions about Beyoncé are politely shut down. ‘I think we’ve talked about it enough.’
Of course, Rowland has had a successful solo career: 40m records sold, another Grammy, moving into acting (she appeared in the music drama Empire) and as a judge on reality TV. But coming out of Beyoncé’s shadow hasn’t been without challenges. Rowland was dropped by record label Sony after her second solo album, Ms. Kelly, failed to chart as highly as her others. ‘My first tour by myself, I felt like I’d failed,’ she recalls. ‘I wasn’t as prepared as I thought I was. It was hard because I fell flat on my face and it was very embarrassing. I learned to be a bit more thorough, to give myself time, to learn about budgets. But as Aaliyah would say, “You dust yourself off and try again.”’ Shortly afterwards, she featured on David Guetta’s When Love Takes Over, which sold more than 5.5m copies and won a Grammy (for best remixed recording), and her solo career found a new trajectory into dance music.
Kelly says her reincarnation as a talent show judge has been a useful way to impart some of her wisdom from a two-decade career. ‘The one thing I wish I’d known as a young woman growing up in this industry is not to compare yourself to others,’ she says. ‘I did a lot of that and it will really mess you up in the head. You should only want to blaze your own path. You can be inspired by other women, but you need to know how unique you are or you get lost.’
Kelendria Trene Rowland has come a long way from her ‘rough times’ growing up in Houston, Texas. She recalls being given second-hand gym shoes by the family where her mother, Doris, worked as a nanny. Doris passed away a few weeks after Rowland gave birth to her son. ‘It was such an interesting time,’ she says. ‘I remember thinking, “I have to get through this with peace,” because I didn’t want Titan to feel my sadness. I had my sisters there, Bey, Michelle, Solange and Angie, and my cousin Mickey, and they helped me get through it. If I needed to cry, my husband let me and was such a comfort. He’d lost his father suddenly, too, so he knew how to console me. He was so loving and awesome. I’m so grateful for my tribe and community.’
When I ask if there’s anything she wishes she could ask her mother about parenting, Rowland pauses. ‘I’ve already had that conversation with her spiritually. It was beautiful.’
In 2017, Rowland wrote Whoa, Baby!, an honest account of motherhood, covering everything from how your ‘vajayjay’ looks post-birth, to the trials of incontinence. ‘I wrote that book because Toni Morrison said, “If there’s a book you want to read that hasn’t been written, then you must write it,”’ she says. ‘I’ll never forget after I had Titan, all I saw was pictures of women with six-packs talking about this “snap back”. It took me a year to get back to my pre-baby weight, but that shouldn’t matter at that time. Have your baby and enjoy your time being a mother. I think women need to take that pressure off themselves.’
Rowland describes motherhood as changing everything for her. ‘Love is on a whole other level. We’re such a great team, me, my husband and Titan. He actually said the other day, “Me, Mommy and Daddy are the bestest of friends.” We play together, we laugh together. Titan taught me how to be silly. We can throw on a nature show and sit there together and be in the happiest little bubble.’
She admits it’s very different to her own upbringing. ‘Titan is covered in so much love and respect. My husband and I take our time with our son. It’s all about quality time and seeing the world through his eyes. We’re in complete adoration of him.’
Rowland married her manager, Tim Weatherspoon, in 2014, in a small ceremony in Costa Rica. What’s the secret to a happy marriage? ‘You have to remember you ain’t perfect,’ she laughs. ‘I’m no walk in the park all the time. He would say my most annoying habit is when I clean up and toss things out that he wanted to keep. Or I buy furniture and say, “Doesn’t this look great in here?” And he says, “Well, I would’ve loved an
‘YOU NEED TO KNOW HOW UNIQUE YOU ARE OR YOU GET LOST’
opinion!” We’re learning about communicating every day. We both want it to work. I remember Tim saying, “Look, sister, we gon’ ride this thing ’til the wheels fall off.” As long as both of us don’t get tired – if one of us gets tired we’re good.’ She says she’s missing Tim and Titan, who are at home in Los Angeles while she’s in Australia. ‘We do a lot of Facetime, we write and send pictures and hide a lot of love notes.’
Now 39, Rowland has accomplished so much – singing, acting, writing, fashion design (a recent capsule collection for Fabletics), philanthropy (her own charity, I Heart My Girlfriends) – but says she’s proudest of staying sane in the midst of it all. ‘Showbiz, if you allow it to, can get the best of you, so I’m grateful for my sanity. Prayer and meditation gives me so much.’
She has been making plans for her 40th birthday next February – ‘A big party and a chilled, simple dinner with nice wine’ – and workwise, she has no intention of slowing down. ‘I have so many ideas. There are so many women doing wonderful things. I look at my sisters and Jennifer Lopez and Kerry Washington all doing so many things. The sky’s the limit. Women have to hold each other up and pour into each other – that’s how we get stronger and better.’
She’s feeling characteristically exuberant about the future. ‘My journey’s not done,’ she says. ‘I wanna work my ass off to make sure I still surprise myself and I still love it! There has to be a yearning for it, otherwise there’s no passion.’