SIMPLY THE BEST LESSONS I’VE LEARNED
Living legend Tina Turner shares her wisdom
The long legs, the big hair, the even bigger voice… As she releases a new book about happiness, Tina Turner shares the wisdom that has influenced her extraordinary life
i’m not wise, but the beginning of wisdom is there; it’s like relaxing into – and an acceptance of – things,’ Tina Turner once said. Much like the lyrics to her soulful songs that have moved, soothed and transcended generations, her words have been quoted thousands of times over. They continue to inspire and enlighten her legion of fans – old and new alike – but truth be told, her words are also tremendously modest.
You see, nobody has had a journey quite like Turner’s. Her six-decade career has seen her gift us with a catalogue of hits from Simply The Best to What’s Love Got To Do With It (selling more than 200m records along the way), but she’s also endured more adversity than most. A difficult childhood that saw her mother flee in search of a better life when Turner was just 11, and an abusive relationship with her former husband and musical partner, Ike Turner (the pair shot to fame under the moniker Ike & Tina Turner Revue). The eventual end of their 16-year marriage left her with only her performance name and two cars.
And yet, like a phoenix, Turner rose from the ashes. She staged a musical comeback in 1984 with her solo album Private Dancer and fought her way up the charts to become an icon in her own right. Love blossomed, too, when she met Erwin Bach, a German executive for her record company, two years later. The pair later married in 2013 and settled in Switzerland, where Tina obtained citizenship.
It was Bach who supported Turner through a number of major health issues – a stroke in 2013, which resulted in his wife having to learn to walk again, as well as intestinal cancer in 2016. He even saved Turner’s life when she was diagnosed with kidney disease and he donated one of his own. He was no doubt a pillar of support too, when, in 2018, one of Turner’s four grown-up children, Craig, took his own life at the age of 59. ‘I believe his next life will be easier,’ Turner said at the time.
Now 81, Turner has shown that she isn’t simply an icon who inspires us, but is also an icon of resilience. And now she has drawn on her darkest hours to write a new book, Happiness Becomes You. It’s a deeply honest guide to changing your life for the better, and it’s packed full of Turner’s wisdom. ‘I want to share the ways I overcame my challenges and increased my positivity, even during the most impossible circumstances,’ she says. ‘I know that, if I could do it, everyone has this potential.’
Here, she shares her lessons in embracing change and turning hardship into happiness.
AGEING IS A MINDSET…
‘When I was much younger, I never really gave much thought to being in my 80s. But as I grew older, I did start imagining it. After I survived the health issues in my 70s, I particularly enjoyed telling people I was getting close to 80. I liked hearing myself say the word ‘80’, because I think part of me wondered if I’d ever really make it that far. But age is just a number. It’s how we feel in our hearts that’s most important. I feel happy and grateful every day to be alive. I’ve not only survived, but thrived, which is why I can now pass on to the world this book that holds the treasures of my heart. With all these blessings in my life, how can my 80s look anything but perfect?’
…SO LET’S CELEBRATE IT!
‘Getting older has given me a heightened appreciation of everyday life. And regardless of age, I think all of us who have faced serious health issues, whether it’s our own or of those we love, know that facing mortality changes our perception. It’s a powerful reminder of how precious life is and how important it is never to take anything for granted. With that in mind, I believe no one should lament the fact that they’re ageing. Instead, let’s be forever young at heart and in mind. Today, I feel more youthful in spirit than ever. My best age-defying beauty secret? Happiness – it’s always in style! As long as you have that inner glow that happiness provides, you can radiate beauty at any age.’
WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE GIVING UP, KEEP GOING
‘In my late 20s, I was depressed and despondent about my life. Eventually, I became so hopeless that I couldn’t think clearly, and I attempted suicide
by taking a bottle of sleeping pills. Fortunately, people found me and took me to the hospital, where I was revived. When I first woke up and realised I was still alive,
I was disappointed. I thought death was my only escape from painful circumstances. Not long after, however, a number of people suggested I try chanting ‘Nammyoho-renge-kyo’ and learn from the wisdom of Buddhist principles. That’s what saved my life. I became hopeful and confident, and the inner transformations I achieved helped me become joyful and successful. When I chant these words now, my mind becomes clearer, my mood rises, and I can see the way I want things to be in my life. It brings out my wisdom and compassion so I can make positive causes that have positive effects.’
DECIDE THE LIFE YOU WANT – THEN BUILD IT
‘When I set out on my own in my 30s, after my divorce, I was penniless and lacked the most basic resources I needed to start my new life. I owed huge sums of money for cancelled concerts I was supposed to have done with my ex. And I had a hard time getting enough work to pay it off. While I was staying with my friends Ana and Wayne Shorter, they suggested I create a mission statement for my life to help set a clear direction toward my goals. Once I did that, I could envision the future I wanted to work toward. Then I was able to move forward with greater purpose, and eventually everything I desired began to manifest.’
LOVE STARTS WITH YOU
‘After I was abandoned by my parents in childhood, I spent a lot of time searching for love in unhealthy places. Later in life, my Buddhist practice helped me to see that even if we don’t receive love from our parents, we can become our own source of love. Learning how to love myself and radiating that love to others has enabled me to let go of the past. It taught me to embrace every experience, the good and the bad, as an opportunity to keep learning and growing. That’s real freedom.’
THERE IS OPPORTUNITY IN EVERY CRISIS
‘I’ve faced financial collapse, homelessness, abandonment, the premature death of family members, severe and sudden health crises, and more. All of the major changes I’ve dealt with in my life felt like the biggest while I was facing them. Fortunately, I came out stronger on the other side of each experience, and I was able to “change poison into medicine”, as we say in the Buddhist community. It means that when you lift your spirits, you can see the hidden value or opportunity in adversity. Then, you can begin to find ways of turning any negative situation into a positive force in your life.’
LOOK FOR THE SUNSHINE BEYOND THE RAIN
‘When you’re faced with changes in life that you can’t control, remember that you do have control over how you respond. I know from experience that especially when you’re facing unwelcome changes, it can feel like you’re in the midst of a never-ending storm. But the sunshine will come again. Know that you always have a choice, even when it feels like you don’t. You can choose hope over
‘NO ONE SHOULD LAMENT THE FACT THAT THEY’RE AGEING. LET’S BE FOREVER YOUNG AT HEART ’
despair. You can choose kindness and appreciation over anger and resentment. The more you make these sorts of empowering choices, the better things will get. If you stay positive and never give up, you will prevail in the end.’
SELF-CARE ISN’T A LUXURY: IT’S A DUTY
‘I gain strength from my belief that I, like you and everyone else in this world, have a unique purpose in life that only we can fulfil. I also believe we all have a shared responsibility to answer the question of how we can bring more kindness and happiness into the world. That’s what I remind myself of during tough times, and then I do whatever I can to lift myself up and stay on track. The foundation of that comes from my daily chanting, but things such as going for a stroll, reading, spending time with friends or listening to music can also help rejuvenate me. I want everyone to know that whenever you feel like giving up, remember you are a unique gem, and you can make a difference in the world. So, care for yourself and do whatever wholesome practice lifts you up. If you aren’t taking care of your own needs, you won’t have much to offer others.’
HAPPINESS DOESN’T FIND YOU – YOU FIND IT
‘For many years of my life, I couldn’t see myself clearly, including my self-worth. I was able to change that after I started practising Buddhism. My big realisation was that everything I needed to become truly happy was within me – I just needed to tap into it. The more I worked on manifesting my wisdom, courage, and compassion, the more my life became clear to me. At first, I didn’t like a lot of the things I saw, but I felt empowered because I knew I held the keys to my own happiness. This awakening gave me the strength to escape from the unhealthy environment
I’d been living in and become free and happy.’
AND WHEN YOU DO, YOU’LL KNOW
‘Happiness has varieties. True happiness is quite different from transient happiness, which comes and goes depending on outside circumstances. When happiness is rooted within our own hearts and minds, then it’s a stable, indestructible condition that remains untouched no matter what’s going on in our lives or in the world. That’s the kind of happiness I’ve been able to attain through my spiritual practice. Now, that’s not to say I don’t sometimes feel disappointment, grief, or anger. But unhappy feelings don’t last long, and they don’t throw me off balance because, at my core, I am joyful. That’s real, lasting happiness. And I believe every single one of us has this capacity within us.’