BOUNCE BACK BETTER
Our resilience is being tested now more than ever, says Alice Olins, who has a five-step plan to develop yours
Build your resilience in five simple steps
Have you noticed the default question between friends and colleagues has changed lately? What used to be a ‘How are you?’, has been replaced with the more highly charged, ‘How are you coping?’
We’ve been dealing with a lot for a long time and edges are, understandably, beginning to fray. The pandemic has been a rug-pull beneath our collective feet and as time drags on and the stress remains, coping feels like the biggest win. Resilience, as I’m sure you’re aware, is your ability to mentally or emotionally cope in or with a crisis; ultimate resilience is returning to a pre-crisis state, improved. That’s the dream. What surprises me is how many of my clients think they’re not resilient people, even when I tell them resilience is not a personality trait. It’s not something you’re born with but something you develop, and we all have the capacity to grow it. Building resilience is a process, and I’m going to show you how in just five stages.
1. Emotions. Life is even more emotional than usual right now, but being able to stay considered in how you react to things is key. Try not to be knee-jerk in your responses, as this zaps any self-mastery or control. And feeling in control goes a long way to helping you have a sense that you’re coping.
2. Self-awareness. Know yourself and know your resilience journey, too. Once you’re able to identify your own resilience strengths and weaknesses, you’ll have a baseline to build from. So take five minutes to think about a time when you were resilient. Unpick what happened, and write down what helped you get to the other side. Pin that list somewhere near to your place of work and when you’re feeling wobbly, remind yourself you’ve been there, done it and got the resilience T-shirt.
3. Life goals. These will be inspirations when you’re trying to get through the muddy everyday stuff. Goals force you to look ahead and focus on the bigger picture.
4. Learning. We often become fixed on how we view ourselves and what our strengths/weaknesses are. But having a fixed mindset is limiting and can trip you up when there are bumps in the road. Be open to change and learning, and you’ll see yourself as someone who can adapt and cope.
5. Support. If it takes a village to raise a child, then it requires an entire city to carry a human being through a global pandemic. We’re not the world’s most communicative species for nothing; accept help, lean on your friends and ask for advice. Your support network is your safety net; know it’s there, and you’ll be fine.