Blind spot VULNERABILITY

Rocks are sometimes so disconnected from their feelings and needs that they can’t always point to their existence at all. Independent and hard to crack, they can appear standoffish, often limiting their options to what they know rather than what they want. They don’t like asking for help and may rarely, if ever, express their love in words.

Rocks can deny or ignore the reality of anything they’re not comfortable with, including emotions. They are supportive to others, though often practically rather than emotionally because discomfort with their own distress can make them intolerant of another’s. Their response to a child falling over and scraping their knee might be, ‘Don’t worry, it doesn’t hurt!’, despite the child crying and insisting it does. Rocks have a habit of telling their children how to feel, meaning they may grow up lacking the experience of saying, ‘This is how it felt for me,’ and feeling emotionally seen.

Rocks may dismiss their vulnerability, either to preserve a sense of safety or keep them in service to another person. ‘It’s just one of those things,’ is a Rock’s favourite saying, and it can be hard to get them to share their experience authentically; they might be involved in a scary car accident, yet tell their friends it was no big deal.

Instead of sitting with their uncomfortable feelings, Rocks often keep busy by trying to fix another person’s problems. They might insist on running a poorly family member’s errands – anything to distract from their own vulnerability.

Rocks often shoulder a lot of responsibility and seem to cope well with the everyday stresses of life. At work, they may find themselves taking on the role of fixer, solving complex problems and managing other people. However, their tendency to martyr themselves and prioritise others’ needs at their own expense can prevent them from seeing and acknowledging their own experiences. A Rock often comes to therapy when they burn out or can’t seem to find any joy in life, not realising that when they switch off their ‘dangerous’ feelings,