THE retrobates

How would you die on THE oregon Trail?

Darran Jones

I’ve always wanted to go out in a blaze of glory, but I’d imagine it would be something like getting crushed by my wagon after I tried to fix its broken wheel. Expertise:

Juggling a gorgeous wife, two beautiful girls and an award-winning magazine Currently playing:

The Legend Of Spyro:

The Eternal Night

Favourite game of all time: Strider

sam ribbits

Crazy idea: what if I’d made it to Oregon without dying…? No you’re right, that’s a silly thing to say. Probably good ol’ dysentery then, I guess. Expertise:

Carbuncle hide-and-seek Currently playing:

Hollow Knight

Favourite game of all time: Croc: Legend Of The Gobbos

Jason kelk

I’d probably be murdered by everyone else for complaining about the lack of Wi-fi. Expertise:

Being a homebrew hero Currently playing:

Starr Mazer

Favourite game of all time: Io

Drew sleep

Darran would push me off the kart and into a snake pit. Retribution for me knackering his arcade machine’s buttons while playing Combat School. Expertise:

Listening to Eighties soundtracks while skating along Bournemouth beach

Currently playing:

Octopath Traveler

Favourite game of all time: Final Fantasy VIII

Luke albigés

Zombies – I prefer The Organ Trail for my bleak pixellated coast-to-coast wagon-based futility exercises.

Expertise:

Not getting dysentery Currently playing:

Octopath Traveler

Favourite game of all time: Micro Machines: Turbo Tournament ’96

paul Drury

I’d like to pass away from good old-fashioned measles. Such a retro way to go.

Expertise:

Brian Colin’s Hawaiian shirt collection

Currently playing:

Kevin Toms World Football Cup Favourite game of all time: Sheep in Space

nick Thorpe

Animals tend to look at me like I look at pizza, so I’d almost certainly fall victim to a vicious snakebite.

Expertise:

Owning five Master Systems (I sold two)

Currently playing:

Sonic Mania Plus

Favourite game of all time: Sonic The Hedgehog

graeme mason

Probably dehydration or exhaustion through drinking too much coffee and not enough water!

Expertise:

Adjusting the tape azimuth with a screwdriver

Currently playing:

Prey

Favourite game of all time: Resident Evil 4

David crookes

Most likely from some horrid disease such as typhoid or cholera. Never a good way to go. Expertise:

Amstrad, Lynx, adventures, Dizzy and Playstation (but is it retro? Debate!)

Currently playing:

BMX Simulator

Favourite game of all time: Broken Sword