LIFE IN MY NORTHERN TOWN

I READ a report in one of the daily rags recently regarding the number of potholes on our roads from something called the Asphalt Industry Alliance- now there’s a Christmas do you don’t want an invite to.

The report stated that there had been a general reduction in the average number of potholes filled by local authorities – well, you don’t say!

Anyone who owns a car or bike could have told you that ages ago.

The good news is that according to another report, the government has given Greater Manchester 30 Million quid to repair 60,000 potholes.

Sounds impressive eh? That works out at £50 a pothole. - which is strange since according to the AA, each pothole costs an average of £55 to repair.

So we are 5,000 potholes down already and since most of our roads seem to be potholes held together with bits of tarmac, you get the feeling it is going to be like this for quite a while – in fact some of them are so deep, if you put your hand in them you can feel the warmth from the Earth’s magma.

But do not worry, as a saviour has come to our rescue in the form of a councillor who was pictured in the paper bending over and pointing to a pothole.

But is there any need for this Knight of the Highway to get involved at all?

According to the Rochdale Gov website thingy, if you report a pothole, they will have it repaired within 20 working days.

What they actually mean is that they will send a bloke out with a ruler and if it is less than 40mm it will be ignored, since that is the depth at which a hole officially becomes a pothole.

It is a bit like the Triage system the NHS brought in at the A&E Department we used to have – it is just a way for officialdom to state that they have met their targets – whatever they are. So you might as well ignore all the reports and nonsense about road repairs – they will still be around to bounce most of us in our coffins in the back of the hearse.

Oh, the irony.