LIFE IN MY NORTHERN TOWN

SO I decided to take Audrey - my dog, if you have not been following my stuff before – to the Feelgood Festival on the Saturday afternoon.

We had a pleasant walk around the stalls outside the main area and there seemed to be a lot of people enjoying themselves, which was great to see.

Feeling peckish and noticing the food stalls were inside the main area, we set off to go in, only to be stopped by a double wardrobe dressed in a security outfit.

“Sorry”, it said, “You can’t bring dogs in” “Why”, I Replied “Health and Safety”. “What? – how come” “Health and Safety” “So I can take her around the outside area where there are loads of people but not in here?” “Er…Yes” “What’s the difference?.” I said.

“It’s not an explosive device.

“I am pretty sure it is not going to spontaneously combust and there is no danger of her going for anyone’s throat and ripping out their jugular” – although at that moment in time, I wished she would.

“So why can’t she come in?” “Health and Saf….”, “STOP SAYING HEALTH AND SAFETY”

“I will go and find someone”, said the wardrobe and wandered off.

A short time later, I can only assume an organiser of some sort came to speak to me.

“I am afraid we can’t allow dogs in”, he said. “Why?” Health and Saf…”, “STOP SAYING HEALTH AND SAFETY”, I screamed.

“That does not mean anything”.

“It’s because the area inside the fence is under licensing laws”, he said.

“And?”

“Er, well we can’t let dogs in because of it”, he blurted.

“But The Baum and the Medicine tap are governed by licensing laws, and they let her in there”, I said.

“Yes, but from a Health and Safety point of view….”, he started to reply.

“Aaaaaaarrrrrrgggggghhhhh”, I screamed.

“Ah,….Er…”, he muttered and at this point I obviously had him flummoxed, so he went off to find somebody from the council.

He came back 10 minutes later.

“The dog can come in”, he announced gleefully.

“We have been told to let them in at our discretion”

“Thank you”, I replied, “Now why could that not have been sorted at the start?”.

So I suggest next time the council organise something like this – and wonderful it was too – I suggest you get your policy on dogs sorted, otherwise me and the furball will be paying a visit.