I wasn’t ready for my to turn into my stalker
TV funnyman James Acaster reveals to how his worst year led him to suicidal thoughts and a breakdown, but gave him scope to be a better comedian observational comedy (e.g. playing should have been an undercover cop, posing as a looking after myself, stand-up comedian), rather than exercising, whatever exposing his own personal angst. it is, and I just don’t
“It covers the same year but tells think we’re that different stories to the book,” he good at it in this explains. “It’s the first time I’ve country. done a personal show – and that “Also, that might not be the case forever. year, I didn’t “But the first time I did it, it felt really have any good to say it out loud and time off. I was not feel embarrassed or constantly ashamed of anything. working and
“Taking myself out of my that caused me comfort zone for the first a lot of stress.” time has made me a better While he’s comic, trying to make unsure why his things that are quite dark, counsellor’s funny.” attitude towards him
He brought up the changed over time, he suicidal thoughts at his fears she may have become first counselling session, he recalls. starstruck. “My advice to “The break-up that year was the anyone who is going for trigger for everything, and after that counselling is: Do your I entered a period of deep research beforehand. Get depression, and during that time I some recommendations from had quite dark thoughts. I haven’t people and go to someone gone into it in too much detail in who’s going to have your best the book. I didn’t want to give too interests at heart.” much detail about myself. Despite his experience, he says
“Essentially, I spent a year not therapy did help him. looking after my mental health at “Counselling really helped. Even all. I hadn’t looked after myself at though it didn’t end great with us, it all for years, and it took something was really helpful and I’m currently that’s quite normal in everyday life, trying to sort out going to see like a break-up, to really bring to a another person. This time I’ll make head all this stuff that I’d held on to, sure I find the right one.” and that had built up over time. Today, he says he looks after his
“I realised I needed to get on top mental health better. “It’s about of things. A lot of the time it’s not a being more honest with myself and big thing that triggers that for acknowledging when I’m stressed people. It’s just small stuff over or anxious. I never used to do that. time, of not looking after yourself. “Now, if I’m stressed, I’ll be aware
“It takes something like that to of it and take some time off, rest for make you think, ‘I should have a bit, exercise and do something been going to therapy for ages’. I fun, like listening to music.”
In the book he says he’d kept his guard up too much when it came to relationships.
“I’d been in a series of relationships which hadn’t worked, and I hadn’t given myself enough of a gap in-between relationships, and still had my guard up, which wasn’t a very helpful thing.”
Today, he remains tight-lipped about his private life. “You take a year to get over it and a year to like yourself again – and I definitely like myself again,” is all he will say.
James has just had a month off from his tour, which started in March and resumes in September, but is going to give himself more breaks from performing live.
He’s filming another series of panel show Hypothetical with his pal Josh Widdicombe, which should be out early next year, is continuing to write for different platforms, hosting his hugely popular food podcast, Off Menu, with fellow comedian Ed Gamble, and hopes that more books are on the cards.
Meanwhile, his music obsession continues – he’s amassed more than 550 albums since 2016, which he keeps at his home in London.
“Buying the music of that year has reconnected me with music. It’s nice to be on top of something that’s current and positive.”