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EING shy can be crippling for a child, leading to missed opportunities for them, and often frustration for their parents. Some parents will try to push quiet and shy children into social situations in a bid to get them out of their shell, but such pressure is unlikely to work, and may instead make children feel even more self-conscious, say psychologists.

“Most people would identify a shy child as being quiet, inhibited and avoidant of getting involved in social activities,” says consultant clinical psychologist Dr Helen Rodwell.

She continues: “Pressuring a shy child to be less shy doesn’t tend to help, as it can just make a child feel even more conscious of themselves.

“Shyness isn’t only about a reluctance to get involved in social activities, but it’s also connected to the child’s belief that others will view them negatively.”

Such shyness is often seen by Anna Fiorentini, principal of the Anna Fiorentini Theatre & Film School in London. She believes role playing and acting can give children the self-confidence they need to overcome any shyness.

“I’m so passionate about the benefits drama and role-playing can have in a child’s life,” she says.

“I’ve seen the majority of our students come out of their shells within a matter of weeks thanks to the power of the performing arts and the freedom it gives children to express themselves, make mistakes and earn praise for learning and developing new skills.”

Here, Dr Rodwell and Anna give their tips and advice about shyness and how children can be encouraged to overcome it...

DR RODWELL stresses that shyness in itself won’t cause your child harm, and many children will develop more social confidence as they grow older. In the meantime, parents shouldn’t put pressure on their children to be more confident, and should accept them for who they are.

“It’s much more helpful to remove judgement from your child. Try and foster an attitude of ‘it’s OK to be you’ and ‘it’s OK to take your time to get used to people or new

OFTEN we hand out general praise for a good effort or piece of art but rarely think about what it is we’re praising, Anna points out.

“Be specific and recognise the individual effort that’s gone in to something. Don’t overdo your praise, reserve it for when it really means something.”

SHYNESS is common in children and can be related to different stages of development, says Dr Rodwell.

“Very young children are typically wary and shy of unfamiliar people, and this wariness is usually seen as being a sign of a healthy attachment.”

As children grow older, she adds, they usually develop more security and become more familiar with different people and situations.

“This can help to foster growing confidence.”

Children tend to look to their own parents and family for clues about how to behave with people and in new situations, she says.

“This can mean a parent who’s shy or feels uncomfortable in new social situations may be more likely to have a shy child. But this isn’t the whole story, as children are influenced by all their experiences.

“So, your child can develop social confidence from a young age by spending time with others at playgroups and nurseries.”