How to talk to your child about their mental health
WE are in the midst of a mental health crisis. While lockdown has ended, the latest stats show we are still reeling from its impact, with children in particular greatly affected.
A shocking study of 1,000 children, conducted by ispace Wellbeing, has revealed that one in 20 considered suicide in the past 12 months. That’s two in every classroom.
What’s more, nearly half (44%) reported feeling stressed and anxious over the past year and a quarter (28%) had felt lonely. One in 10 (11%) had been bullied.
“Before the pandemic we had a mental health crisis, but the last year has been hard for our children,” says Paula Talman, paediatric nurse and founder of ispace, a mental health and wellbeing curriculum for schools.
This time of year can be particularly stressful as kids go back to school for the new term.
But, Paula says: “We can arm kids with tools to help them cope in the face of change and challenge. We can help them cope and bounce back.”
Here she and clinical psychologist Dr Nancy Nsiah share some of the most common problems faced by children, and how to handle them.
Set aside some time – at least 20 minutes – to open up a conversation with your child.
With young children you can do this through play. Puppets, Lego, or a story book could help create a safe and relaxed environment for starting a conversation about emotions.
With teenagers it helps to be active while you talk. Let them know you have noticed they don’t seem happy, in a caring and nonjudgmental way. See if they can explain why. Let them know you are there for them. Explain how a daily routine helps – enough sleep, exercise, nutrition, hydration and time with friends.
Children often worry about sharing the fact they’re being bullied, so it’s important to listen and reassure them you won’t take any action without agreeing a plan with them first. Look at the school’s anti-bullying policy together. Keep a diary of events to share with the school. If they are bullied online, keep screenshots and block that person. Keep evidence of bullying such as screenshots, and
Paediatric nurse Paula Talman report them to the school.
Older children often want to try to manage the situation themselves first so be a sounding board for ideas. Ensure your child spends quality time with supportive friends away from school.
Questioning children about personal things they find hard to verbalise can make them feel vulnerable. So give them room to process their thoughts and emotions. Do something you enjoy together and let the conversation flow naturally. Use toys and story characters to help you start the conversation.
Teens sometimes find it easier to rate how they are feeling rather than going into a full conversation. You could create a sliding scale together on a scale of one to five.
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