A friend in need...
TV presenter Julia Bradbury underwent mastectomy surgery following her recent breast cancer diagnosis - and her sister, Gina Bradbury Fox, has opened up about how it’s been “a complete roller-coaster”.
Gina has been by Julia’s side as much as possible. “We fluctuate from hysteria, to being in floods of tears,” she said in an interview.
Julia – known for shows like Cornwall And Devon Walks With Julia Bradbury and The One Show – has been sharing updates on Instagram. The 51-year-old expressed thanks for her sister, saying: “Gina has been an absolute rock, doing what she always does brilliantly, swinging into action, being a practical and emotional mainstay.”
The Bradbury sisters are shining a light on the emotional impact of breast cancer, and the vital role of support. Breast cancer is one of the most common cancers in the UK, with around 55,000 women and 370 men diagnosed each year, according to Breast Cancer Now.
So, how can you support a friend going through breast cancer treatment? We asked a range of people with lived experience to share their insights...
“One thing we often talk about is providing empathy, rather than sympathy – it can be really helpful if you’re able to sit with your friend and acknowledge that they’re going through a really hard time, but without trying to ‘fix it’,” says Ceinwen Giles, director of partnerships and evaluation at Shine Cancer Support
“Help them find other people who’ve already been through it. I found the wisdom of others immensely helpful,” says cancer rehabilitation personal trainer Carolyn Garritt, author of Get Your Oomph Back: A Guide To Exercise After A Cancer Diagnosis (published by Hammersmith Press in
November), who has also been through breast cancer herself.
“To get outdoors and have gentle exercise will help with anxiety and some of the emotional turbulence in the early days,” adds Carolyn, who also says being a “walking buddy” is a great way to show support. “Getting outdoors in nature will help them generate some endorphins and calm their mind. It can also form part of ‘prehab’ to prepare their body and mind for treatment.” Leadership coach Leigh Howes, whose new book Foundations To Lead From is out in November was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2017, and agrees time outdoors can be a big help. “You have to find the thing that refills your cup, so for me, just being outside was everything,” she says. “I had this favourite spot I liked to visit and sit under a big oak tree that looked out on a lovely view, and I would just sit there by my s e l f , w i th friends, and it helped rebalance everything.”
Julia Bradbury
If you’d like to give a gift, consider a journal, suggests Leigh. “Journaling is a great way to record how you’re feeling and to keep a diary throughout,” she says.
“I practised a lot with journaling gratitude – but not forced, just really about where my head was at.”
Check they’re happy with this idea first, of course. But as lovely as it is having lots of people messaging, treatment can be very exhausting – so anything that alleviates the pressure could be really helpful.
“By creating a Whatsapp group, I was able to shout for practical support, and it was absolutely a blessing for me,” says Leigh.
“It was quite cathartic to share where I was at in my journey and enabled me to communicate with lots of people at one time, rather than telling people the same thing over and over again.”
If you’re not able to see your friend in person, life coach Laura Bentley suggests finding ways to support from afar.
Laura’s sister was living abroad when she was diagnosed.
“Over the course of her treatment, it was so hard not to see her in per
words are unnecessary – a hug is all needs son and give her big hugs or help out practically, but we kept in touch via video calls and sent care packages to help make life a little easier.”
“A great way to support a friend with breast cancer would be to create a playlist on Spotify that they could use for relaxing or getting to sleep, or some banging tunes for when they are walking into chemo,” says Clare Filler who, after two decades as a teacher, is now launching a writing career and blogged about her own experience of breast cancer
“Songs that connect the two of you will be comforting, remind them they are not alone, and that brighter times are ahead.”
If your friend is facing chemotherapy, Clare also suggests a ‘chemo kit’ as a great gift. “Chemo is frightening but it is also boring. Some patients have cycles that last several hours.
“It is very common to get cold, particularly your extremities, so cosy socks, hand warmers or a blanket will be very useful and comforting,” she says.
“Other things a chemo patient will appreciate are lip balm, hand cream, and a good book to read.”
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