Maybe a little less than the sum of their parts

IF YOU’VE been wondering what I think about ‘The Donald’ trumping the presidency in bizarre USA election, well I’m not too keen, but don’t tell anyone. Why? Well, as Farage seems to think he is ideal to be our ambassador to Washington, I thought, in this present climate where friends and family are given top jobs, I might be able to carve out a new career for myself too.

Mr Farage is such an obvious choice for our representative in the USA as he’s SO diplomatic (ha!), but I can match his Ferrero Rocher chocs with my Jaffa cakes any day.

Surely sounding off in Bm@il each week qualifies me to be, at least, White House Chief of Staff. How about replacing Obamacare with OBarbaracare (Queen of People’s Parts).

Failing that, I realise I should have been texting/emailing and generally harassing my own MP, after he was elected last year, to give me a top position here. I’m sure Boris could find me a globe-trotting job to help him out with his foreign secretary stuff.

Like Mr Farage in his bid for the White House spare room, I am perfectly qualified for a top job with Mr Johnson. I don’t speak any languages other than Brummie and English, and I would, of course, have to travel everywhere by cruise ship, as I hate flying.

I have had a big career change before. In 1989 I swapped 15 years teaching for fulltime journalism where I stayed for 20 years.

So, I thought, well done to financial journalist Lucy Kellaway who, at 57 years old has made the leap in the other direction, giving up a well-paid job to become a maths teacher in a London inner city school.

She hit the headlines last week, because the move was opposed by the teaching unions, but I say good luck to her.

I enjoyed teaching but it’s not a cushy job. We need more maths teachers, and she’ll soon find out if she can cut the mustard.

Maybe Carole Vorderman will follow her example when she comes out of the jungle. Hard sums would be so much more interesting for the pupils, accompanied by the Countdown jingle.

I wonder how soon she would shout ‘I’m a Celebrity – Get Me Out of Here”?