Loneliness behind Harry’s laughter
All week, we’ve seen him joking with adoring crowds Down Under. But today he flies home to bleak reality...
WHEN the instantly recognisable local strolled into the Kensington Odeon several weeks ago, a murmur of excitement swept the cinema. Heads craned to catch a glimpse as Prince Harry strolled in, eyes down, and casually took a seat.
But as his two protection officers dutifully took their place in the row behind him, his dishevelled mop of red hair blocking their view, fellow film-goers were shocked at what a solitary figure the young Prince cut.
Could a handsome, gregarious, 30-year- old royal really not find a date to accompany him to the pictures? This is a young man, after all, who is adored the world over, something borne out during his current, hugely successful tour of New Zealand.
But, this lone trip is far from unusual for Prince Harry. He has been spotted circling the vast Whole Foods store on Kensington High Street, in the nearby M&S food hall, and even at the local discount fashion store TK Maxx — always with only his security detail for company.
So perhaps it should have been less of a surprise when this week it emerged that not only is Harry deeply aware of his solitude — he would very much like things to be different.
‘It would be great to have someone else next to me to share the pressure,’ he told an interviewer on Sky News, during his tour.
‘There come times when you think now is the time to settle down, or now is not, whatever way it is, but I don’t think you can force these things, it will happen when it’s going to happen.
‘Of course I would love to have kids right now but there’s a process that one has to go through, and tours like this are great fun. Hopefully I’m doing all right by myself . . . but you know, time will come and whatever happens, happens.’
While Harry’s visit Down Under has seen him delight massive crowds — displaying the tactile, easy people skills of his mother, as well as his own sense of humour — it is clear he misses the support that coupledom has brought William and Kate, Charles and Camilla, and the Queen and Prince Philip.
His loneliness is all the more striking given that hugely sociable public persona. This is the crowd-pleasing soldier who sticks out his tongue, joins in the Maori ‘haka’ dancing and kisses ladies young and old.
He also appears to have half the single girls in the world wanting to marry him — there are fan clubs, swooning women wherever he goes and even a hashtag, Harryme, on Twitter.
So just how has Harry’s life become so lonely? And why is he yet to find The One he patently hankers for?
One reason, of course, is that very peculiar combination of immense privilege and personal isolation that comes with being a member of the Royal Family.
Home is the two-bedroom house at Kensington Palace, Nottingham Cottage, known as ‘Nott Cott’, that William and Kate lived in before they moved into Apartment 1a.
This love nest-turned-bachelor pad is a pretty, redbrick house, with its own walled garden and dining room. But it is within the Palace complex, cheek by jowl with other grace-and-favour apartments — most of which are inhabited by people of another generation entirely, such as Prince and Princess Michael of Kent, and the Duke and Duchess of Kent, all of whom are in their 70s and 80s, as well as various courtiers and staff.
The Palace — albeit far more luxurious — is a very different environment from the Army digs Harry so enjoyed living in.
Harry announced in March his decision to leave the Forces, saying he is looking forward to a ‘new chapter’ in his life and considering his employment options after he finishes his tenyear military career next month.
But the Army did provide him with an instant social life.
The lads’ camaraderie, given his upbringing with just one brother and an entirely single- sex education, suited him perfectly.
‘In truth, he was never quite treated like everyone else, but to him it was as good as,’ says one Army acquaintance. ‘He felt he had mates.’
One friend adds: ‘ He doesn’t hate the Palace, he just doesn’t like being on his own there. As he admits, he liked the “action man” fun part of the Army and he misses that.’
His Kensington home has been made all the more desolate by the move to Anmer House in Norfolk by Kate and William, who are the closest people to him.
This shift in William’s life has deeply affected Harry — not just the physical move to the country, but the huge transition William has made into becoming a family man.
Ever since Harry’s mother died in 1997, William has been his companion, adviser and protector.
He was reasonably happy to play third wheel to his brother and Kate, who had formed an easy friendship with him.
‘William could still be his rock even if Harry’s phone calls in the early hours of the morning weren’t quite as welcome,’ says one person in his circle.
But the transition from one child to two is a shock for any young family, and William’s growing responsibilities mean he is less available than ever.
On top of which, many of Harry’s old fun-loving party pals are now married and starting families of their own.
‘He still sees them, but they’re not up for the big, grand nights of old,’ says the source. For example, his roistering friend from Ludgrove prep school, property entrepreneur Thomas van Straubenzee, with whom Harry holidayed and partied, is now wed to the Duke of Northumberland’s daughter, Lady Melissa Percy.
Other friends recently married include stud heir Jakie Warren — whom Harry went to school with -— and both sons of the late equestrian Olympian Richard Meade, Harry and James. Even nightclub-owning Guy Pelly has wed Texan Holiday Inn heiress Elizabeth Wilson — and has apparently become a reformed character. Seeing all these bachelor chums become ‘ smug marrieds’ hasn’t j ust c hanged Harry’s friendships; it has also brought home to him how much happiness a wife could bring.
‘He has seen his brother mature from boy to man under Kate’s loyal gaze and the happiness fatherhood has brought him — and quite naturally he wants the same,’ says a family friend.
Harry loves children, likes female company and would love Nott Cott to be filled with a family and homecooking — or at least someone else instructing a cook, says the friend.
Harry still has some playmates, of course — film-maker Arthur Landon, heir to a £ 500 million fortune; tech company MD, Eton friend and his old ‘wingman’ Tom Inskip; and rugby player- turned- stockbroker (and ex of singer Katherine Jenkins) Adam Bidwell.
The last two have girlfriends but remain eager to party: the trio were on Harry’s infamous Las Vegas trip in August 2012.
Which brings us to the other problem for the Prince — that since Vegas, when photographs appeared of him playing strip billiards, naked but covering his crown jewels, Harry’s life has become infinitely trickier as he felt the pressure to behave differently.
Harry, always the more trusting and open of the two brothers, was shocked by the fallout and realised he had to be far more wary.
In his own words, Vegas was ‘too much Army, not enough Prince’.
A royal source says: ‘Harry realised the wilder temptations needed to be resisted. i Phones and Twitter provided a new threat — people could film him anywhere and release information about his movements to a wide audience.
‘ Security changed, too. Where friends could once come and go with ease at Kensington Palace, they had to be vetted and leave their iPhones with security.
‘The partying and festival carousing did continue a little under cover — at private members’ clubs, or in secluded tented areas, in semi-disguise with hat and shades and lookalikes deployed to throw everyone off the scent — but it became far more complicated.’
His freedom was curtailed, and with it his ability to see other people.
‘He feels he cannot be too spontaneous, and finds it hard to make new friends because of the trust issue,’ says a friend.
‘One night he was seen in a private members’ club with pals including Adam Bidwell and seemed so out of sorts — everyone else was discussing where to go on to next, he seemed so unrelaxed about it,’ adds the friend.
What was once one of his favourite things — a London night out — has become rather stressful.
Even his other Royal Family friend, Zara Phillips, though warm and funny and fond of the man who introduced her to her husband, Mike Tindall, has become caught up in motherhood.
She is now less likely to join in on a night out since the early, traumatic days of her marriage which saw Tindall tossing dwarfs and smooching with another woman in Australia.
And, like Harry Meade, she lives in Gloucestershire — far from poppin-ground distance.
Even more distant is Eugenie, the York Princess closest to Harry, who now lives in New York.
Of course, Harry — like another slightly lost soul, Princess Beatrice — does an enormous amount of travelling. Last November, he was playing polo in Oman then watching the Grand Prix in Abu Dhabi, sucking on a shisha pipe and twerking till 5am on the Mahiki yacht.
Come December, he was in Lesotho visiting his African charity, Sentebale. And in February he was skiing in Verbier with his York cousins then going out undercover in Stockholm with Adam Bidwell.
By March he had quit the Army and in April he left for Australia.
But while on the face of it this seems
Many of his party loving pals are now married
‘He’s seen the happiness Kate’s brought William’
a social whirlwind, the reality is that without staying in one place for long, Harry has little chance of forming a solid relationship or spending more than fleeting time with his friends. Yet he seems most uncomfortable at Nott Cott, possibly because, as a royal source says: ‘It is there that the reality of his single status confronts him.’
Sunday night blues are often seen off at Tom Inskip’s house in Chelsea, eating takeaways and watching DVD box sets.
Ex-girlfriend Cressida Bonas is still in his sights — he still texts her and he even turned up, alone apart from security, to see her in The Importance Of Being Earnest in March. But she is now increasingly serious about her acting career, having signed to distinguished agent Angharad Wood, who guides the careers of Dominic West and Eva Green. She is also in demand as a model, being photographed in Dior in the South of France this week and appearing on cover of Miss Vogue.
A mutual friend outlines the problem: ‘Harry is a Peter Pannish figure who expected Cressida always to be at his beck and call and sulked when she wasn’t.’
Some of his friends are adamant that he will get back together with Chelsy Davy, the Zimbabwe-born lawyer he went out with for seven years until 2011.
‘She was the right girl, too early,’ says one, pointing out that she has split from her more recent, jeweller boyfriend, Charles Goode, and that she is still in touch with Harry.
But whether it’s possible to rekindle something — or overcome the reluctance on her part, and immaturity on his, that drove them apart — is another matter.
For it’s not only with Cressida that Harry has shown a slight immaturity in the way he handles relationships.
‘He can’t always judge how other people are feeling — when to stop a joke, for example,’ says a friend.
‘He is charming and funny and brilliant with children, but empathy with women his age, understanding why they might be annoyed, for example, perhaps isn’t his strongest point.’
There are, in fact, ‘two Harrys’ says the friend. ‘There is the public cheeky chappy who is so warm and funny. But he is not always like that — he’s referred to, somewhat predictably, as the “ginger whinger” by his friends at times.
‘Like his father he has a moany, groany, self- pitying “why me” streak. He is an odd combination of motherless and spoiled.’
And while he was deprived so early of a mother’s guiding hand, Charles and Camilla are now fairly remote from him, too — they spend considerable time on tour, and are otherwise to be found in Gloucestershire or at Birkhall in Scotland.
Harry tries to temper his aloneness by throwing himself into activities.
But while t he energy and concentration required to fly an Apache helicopter were enough to absorb any lingering loneliness during his Army days, occasional football in Battersea Park and gym workouts are not.
Perhaps that’s why Harry is now being so open about his personal situation, and willing to admit that he wants someone to share his life with.
There’s so much to like about this generous-hearted and engaging young royal, one can only hope he finds her soon.