Tips that all mums-in-law MUST follow

I’VE HAD lots of good emails about daughters-in-law, but I think this one is brilliant:

‘Bel — I thoroughly enjoy your column, but feel that sometimes daughters-inlaw get slated. I have a great r el ati onship with my mother-in-law and love and respect her very much.

‘Without her I would not be able to go out to work — and I’ll for ever be grateful as I need it for my brain and also for my pocket! But here are some pointers for any mother- i n- l aw needing a li t t l e nudge in t he right direction. 1. YOU are welcome to visit your grandchildren but arriving during meal times is not always convenient, especially if you bring sweets. 2. I RESPECT that our children remind you very much of your son: they look like him, talk like him and act like him. But SOMETIMES tell me they remind you of me. My laugh? My determination? Their mother would like to hear that. 3. REMEMBER I am your son’s life partner and may already know what his favourite food, programme, drink, sport, music is. These are some of the reasons why we love each other so much. 4. THE sun does not always shine out of your son’s rear end and sometimes he can be annoying and we fall out. You don’t have to look at him with puppy-dog eyes, as if he is being attacked. This is normal behaviour between husband and wife. I am allowed to get annoyed if he hasn’t washed the car as promised. 5. YOU do not have to tell me how tired your son is looking or how much weight he has lost. He is a busy working father supporting his family, but also an adult who can go to bed at a reasonable hour and make himself a snack if he’s hungry. 6. REMEMBER how hard it was to juggle work, family, social and school commitments? I can’t always have a cafetiere of coffee ready when you call, and can only sit and chat once the children are sorted.

But most of all — remember that your son loves me and I deserve his love.’