JONATHAN CAINER

Hi Jonathan, No one asked Pluto about Pluto. We silly humans decided what Pluto meant. She has just given us her own opinion. Carrie Dear Carrie, I agree that Pluto sent a clear message. Also sending an inspiring message, this weekend, is the glorious tri

ARIES

Mar 21 — Apr 20

CAN you do the impossible? Can any of us ever do that? No, but we can do some pretty amazing things that people previously dismissed as beyond anyone’s ability. We can do the impressive, the breathtaking and the mindboggling. Stunning though that may be, when we sit back and realise that it has actually been done, we can’t say that we have done the impossible because the moment it has been accomplished it has been proved possible! Don’t doubt yourself — or what is attainable — this weekend. Anxious? I’ve recorded a very special message for you. In four minutes, I’ll give you the key to your future. Call 0906 751 5601.

TAURUS

Apr 21 — May 21

WE CAN’T turn back time. That’s what we are taught at an early age by folk who hold positions of such authority that it seems almost churlish to question it. We don’t want to look like fools, after all. So even the most adventurous among us, if we ever do decide to put that assertion to the test, make a half-hearted attempt at best. The shadow of negative expectation is so hard to shake off. Maybe you can’t change your personal history this weekend, but you can change the way you think about it. That’s big! Confused? I’ve recorded a very special message for you. In four minutes, I’ll give you the key to your future. Call 0906 751 5602.

GEMINI

May 22 — June 22

IT IS wrong to suggest that the head is logical and the heart illogical. It is more fair by far to acknowledge that both speak a different language, function according to a very different set of principles and effectively pursue mutually exclusive priorities. There is an old idea that intellectuals can never hope to understand emotions and that people of passion have no overview or sense of strategy. That’s balderdash. There is no reason in the world, this weekend, why you can’t make perfect sense of both. Worried? I’ve recorded a very special message for you. In four minutes, I’ll give you the key to your future. Call 0906 751 5603.

CANCER

June 23 — July 23

WE BEGAN this week by discussing the definition of insanity. By Thursday we were wondering whether there was any contrasting definition of sanity. Having reflected for a further 24 hours or so, I remain of the same view. You can’t define sanity and it would be insane to try! So if sanity itself defies definition, what right do any of us have to declare anything or anyone crazy! Broader tolerance deserves to be shown, this weekend, to a situation that tends too easily (and wrongly) to inspire a shrug of the shoulders. Uncertain? I’ve recorded a very special message for you. In four minutes, I’ll give you the key to your future. Call 0906 751 5604.

LEO

July 24 — Aug 23

EVEN great improv comedians don’t work entirely without a premise or a principle. Just as great jazz musicians agree in advance upon the melody they are going to depart from or experiment with, so all who like to fly by the seat of their pants still like to know what they will be flying in and over. Much the same can be said of your brave leap into the unknown this weekend. You don’t know exactly what is needed, but you do know roughly, and it is within your power to adapt and adjust successfully. Anxious? I’ve recorded a very special message for you. In four minutes, I’ll give you the key to your future. Call 0906 751 5605.

VIRGO

Aug 24 — Sep 23

IN MANY lands, there is still a strong belief in faery folk. You might think it would have been stamped out by the advent of motorways, supermarkets and iPhones. But old traditions die hard, especially when they strike such a chord with our imagination and intuition. We all want to feel that maybe there are little people with magical powers who are willing to do us favours from time to time. Your faith in such entities may increase this weekend. How else do you explain the small but significant upturn in your outlook? Confused? I’ve recorded a very special message for you. In four minutes, I’ll give you the key to your future. Call 0906 751 5606.

LIBRA

Sep 24 — Oct 23

WE DON’T all say what we think. Even candid characters may sometimes decide that it is hardly worth wasting their breath. So we should all be careful about interpreting a silence as an agreement. It can sometimes take quite a lot of effort to articulate opposition to a proposition. Have you lately been so stunned by a suggestion that you have hardly felt able to argue with it? Are you safe to assume that you know exactly what someone else feels or thinks? Muchneeded understanding can be reached this weekend. Worried? I’ve recorded a very special message for you. In four minutes, I’ll give you the key to your future. Call 0906 751 5607.

SCORPIO

Oct 24 — Nov 22

WE MAY all dream of happy-everafters, but we don’t plan on them. We know that life is challenging and our interactions with other human beings have a tendency to create conflict. When we allow life to teach us lessons, we don’t expect it to show us how to avoid ever being hurt. We are grateful if the cosmos can assist us with the art of recovery. That heart on the face of Pluto may be saying: ‘I am the cosmic deity of renewal and recovery.’ It certainly seems as if your life is being touched by such an influence this weekend. Uncertain? I’ve recorded a very special message for you. In four minutes, I’ll give you the key to your future. Call 0906 751 5608.

SAGITTARIUS

Nov 23 — Dec 21

YES, you can do amazing things when you let yourself. And life, recognising that you don’t always give yourself such a chance, often creates a stage on which you can perform. It presents you with challenges to rise to, reasons to reach deep within yourself and bring out the very best. Being born blessed with such a resilient character, you don’t resent such moments when they arise. You see them for what they are and inwardly decide to let your inner light shine. You will do very well this weekend. Anxious? I’ve recorded a very special message for you. In four minutes, I’ll give you the key to your future. Call 0906 751 5609.

CAPRICORN

Dec 22 — Jan 20

SOME people find a perverse pleasure in being pessimistic. They don’t just enjoy thinking about what might go wrong, they take special delight in sharing their gloomy prophecies with others. If they can push a pin into a balloon of hope or cast a shadow where there seems to be too much sunshine, they can consider themselves to be doing their bit for global gloom-mongering. Have you been listening too closely to that choir lately? Don’t add your own voice to it. This weekend it is safe to sing a happier song. Confused? I’ve recorded a very special message for you. In four minutes, I’ll give you the key to your future. Call 0906 751 5610.

AQUARIUS

Jan 21 — Feb 19

A LOT needs to happen this weekend and you probably don’t have as much time as you’d wish. But none of that has to turn into a source of pressure. Even if there is an element of urgency or if someone is pushing for a decision to be made, you can simply resolve to relax and do your best. Despite what you may fear, that’s all you need to do. No one else will let you off the hook by sharing a message of reassurance. But you can justifiably offer yourself such solace and comfort. Worried? I’ve recorded a very special message for you. In four minutes, I’ll give you the key to your future. Call 0906 751 5611.

PISCES

Feb 20 — Mar 20

SOCIAL media encourages us to have friends or followers. Among the young, in particular, electronic etiquette is such an imperative that many prefer to message one another — even when they happen to be sitting in the same room. So, are the new generations really doing any more ‘following’ than the previous ones? And are friendships any more meaningful than they were before the information age? This weekend, you can show someone great respect without a keyboard or a mouse. Uncertain? I’ve recorded a very special message for you. In four minutes, I’ll give you the key to your future. Call 0906 751 5612.