BRING ON LE BEEFCAKE!
Oh NO! Can it really be nude charity calendar time again? Prepare yourself for another goose-pimpled assemblage of doughy buttocks and puckered thighs, as unimaginative societies and groups across the country strip off for a good cause.
I know they mean well, but it has become really, really boring. Looking at these calendars, one realises that more often than not it is more fun for the me generation nudists (them) who take part rather than those who shell out for the good cause (us). Well, almost. Perhaps we can make un petit exception for a new calendar called Dieux du Stade, full of rugby hunks, which has just been released in France.
Good grief! Ahem, cough, splutter! From Janvier to Decembre, players with homme serieux faces pose naked in a variety of bucolic locations, providing an explanation as to why their nickname is Les Bleus.
They brood, they hug trees, they relax in cornfields and sunbathe on empty beaches showing the kind of musculature more usually seen on racehorses or Bernini statues.
And t hey have f orm in t his department, in more ways than one. I am furious about the Volkswagen nonsense — and I don’t even have one. However, after spending most of my adult life living and working in central London, I don’t need any survey to tell me that the air quality in the capital is getting worse and worse. Every day I can taste it and smell it. In the mornings I feel it creaking in my lungs, at night it silts up my airways. On oppressive summer days when the cloud is low and the traffic Sixteen years ago it was the French rugby team who really launched the nude charity calendar, spawning a thousand imitations that, sadly, could never live up to le beefcake.
This time around, one of the nude players has a tattoo in English under his right armpit that reads: Don’t dream your life, live your dream.
And yes officer, that is, indeed, why I rewound the teaser video over and over again. honestly. Stop it! I’ve come over all giddy. I’ll be all right in a minute. hold me! is thick, you could almost slice the air with a knife. and now we know that diesel cars, supposedly clean and green machines, are responsible for alarming increases in air pollution in all major cities. Governments have been bullied into promoting them by sanctimonious green pressure groups who have, once more, got it wrong. Fish farms, wind farms, diesel cars: do-gooding greens have done more harm than good. But don’t hold your diesel-polluted breath for an apology.