JONATHAN CAINER

I must apologise for an error, last week, in my explanation of the complex relationship between the moon, the Earth and the sun. A surprisingly large number of people pointed this out. I’d like to correct my own error, but I’m slightly worried lest I make yet another mistake in doing so! I’d also like to say that I didn’t know I had so many scientifically minded readers but then, I’d be confessing to yet another point of ignorance! I can, though, at least promise that this slight lack of technical expertise didn’t compromise the quality of any predictions.

ARIES Mar 21 — Apr 20 WE all like arrangements that are done and dusted. We prefer our problems to be solved and sorted. We like to feel that, even if we live in a crazy world, at least our own part of it makes some sense. Yet this week, the quest for an explanation may prove frustrating. The outlook isn’t bad, it’s good. But if you aren’t so easily able to understand why it is good, you may become inclined to worry. Be willing to do what fictional time travellers are often obliged to do — and embrace a paradox. I have important news about the big changes due in your life. Pick up the phone for a very special message: 0906 751 5601.

TAURUS Apr21 — May21 EVERYTHING is going to be OK — a purple pumpkin is here! What’s one of those? Why do you want to know? Is it not enough simply to hear the message and feel reassured? Must all good news be qualified, objectively assessed and independently analysed? Can’t a wave of optimism be embraced and celebrated for its own sake? You may feel suspicious this week, of a promise that is seemingly being too easily made. Raise an eyebrow, by all means, but don’t stare so hard in disbelief that you scare all hope away. I’ve got much more to tell you. I’ve crammed all I can into your four-minute forecast. Hear it! change your life: 0906 751 5602.

GEMINI May22 — June22 IS THERE such a thing as natural justice? Many don’t think so. Why else did we create all those courts and lawyers? Indeed, why do we appoint all those lawmakers and police officers to enforce it? It seems like an awful lot of effort to go through if all we really have to do is sit around and wait for the cosmos to mete out reward and punishment as it deems fit. Your big story this week is all about what is fair and not fair. It looks as if you are about to get a better deal than you expected. I have important news about the big changes due in your life. Pick up the phone for a very special message: 0906 751 5603.

CANCER June23 — July23 YOU are much admired, much appreciated and much respected. You may not be especially aware of this and that only adds to your charm. It imbues you with a kind of natural innocence which others find as endearing as they find it persuasive. Who else can we rely on to make all the right choices quite as much as the person who does this instinctively, without even really noticing that their abilities are uncanny and their insights oddly infallible? Do you deserve to be trusted this week? It turns out you do! I’ve got much more to tell you. I’ve crammed all I can into your four-minute forecast. Hear it! change your life: 0906 751 5604.

LEO July24 — Aug23 THE quest for economic solvency is not dissimilar to the quest for psychological stability. There are some philosophers who say you can’t have one without the other. Yet that is a misleading assertion. It is fairer to say you can only have the former if you first attain the latter. If the former becomes your priority, there is absolutely no guarantee it will lead to the latter — and the latter will, of course, inevitably, prove to be more valuable. Put your heart first this week and what your wallet needs will follow. I have important news about the big changes due in your life. Pick up the phone for a very special message: 0906 751 5605.

VIRGO Aug24 — Sep23 I MUST apologise for this forecast. I recognise that it has the potential to make you feel awkward. I would move the planets if I could. But I can’t. So we will have to be philosophical about the extraordinarily auspicious cosmic climate and the potential this has to bring you significant benefit. If you had been born under any other sign, I’m sure you would by now be jumping for joy. But Virgos don’t like to make a fuss and they also know that every upside has a downside.

Even so, your outlook is good this week. I’ve got much more to tell you. I’ve crammed all I can into your four-minute forecast. Hear it! change your life: 0906 751 5606.

LIBRA Sep 24 — Oct 23 MIGHT you have some problems that are real and others that are imaginary? By trying to fix something that isn’t really wrong in the first place, we may miss the opportunity to do something far more constructive and useful. This week, you see the difference between a genuine source of potential trouble and a concern largely based on a fearful fantasy. As you turn your attention towards what really needs dealing with, you will make the right kind of progress and that will be most satisfying. I have important news about the big changes due in your life. Pick up the phone for a very special message: 0906 751 5607. SCORPIO

SCORPIO Oct24 — Nov22 season starts soon. Later this week, the Sun will slip into your sign and you will enjoy an exceptional advantage. Not that you need it. Are you not already benefiting from a sense of enhanced confidence? Don’t you feel quite sure that you can rise to whatever challenge life puts before you this week? You won’t have any reason to doubt yourself today —or over the next few days. You are being blessed with strength and support. Trust your instinctive understanding of the best way to deal with a vexing matter. I’ve got much more to tell you. I’ve crammed all I can into your four-minute forecast. Hear it! change your life: 0906 751 5608.

SAGITTARIUS Nov 23 — Dec 21 CAN you see the tree in the distance? How about the highest branch? At the end of that branch there is an apple. On top of it there is a fly. Now, can you aim your archer’s arrow at the eye of the fly this week,and expect to be in with some chance of hitting it? You may feel as if life is not presenting you with a challenge that requires great skill, concentration and luck. But, as you will soon discover, you are aiming at an orchard full of apple trees. Success will be easier than you think. I have important news about the big changes due in your life. Pick up the phone for a very special message: 0906 751 5609.

CAPRICORN Dec22 — Jan20 THERE is only one way to reach your destination — and that involves setting off on a journey. Consult the map, by all means. Make provisions, too. Research various routes and debate their relative effectiveness. But if you want a result, sooner or later, you will have to commit yourself to a particular course of action. This week brings you to a point of decision and departure. It may help to keep the following idea in mind. As long as you are being reasonably sensitive and fair in your choices, you can’t go wrong. I’ve got much more to tell you. I’ve crammed all I can into your four-minute forecast. Hear it! change your life: 0906 751 5610.

AQUARIUS Jan21 — Feb19 WE ARE all conscious of the expectation that others have of us. We are sensitive human beings, after all. Yet we soon learn that if we wish to preserve our sanity, we must set up inner barriers and boundaries. We can sympathise, but not to the point where this debilitates us. We can offer to help where possible, but we must not become a martyr to someone else’s cause. Events this week require you to draw some lines and make distinctions. Everyone will benefit when you have done this. I have important news about the big changes due in your life. Pick up the phone for a very special message: 0906 751 5611.

PISCES Feb20 — Mar20 UNLESS we are born into royalty, we are brought up to believe that we shouldn’t expect too much of life. We will have to work hard to get support and we should steel ourselves against setbacks and disappointments. That may be wise and fair under most circumstances, but are we not all celebrities in the eyes of the Creator? Does not the force that sustains every atom on this planet, wish nothing but the best for all in its domain? This week, you will see proof that you live under a kindly sky. I’ve got much more to tell you. I’ve crammed all I can into your four-minute forecast. Hear it! change your life: 0906 751 5612.