I spy the captain’s wife canoodling!

The Swan set off from Ambleside Bowness was its next stop. The Biddles family, on board, Were Lucy, Ma and Pop. The crew tied up at Bowness Pier Young Lucy left the boat While Dad got out his camera From underneath his coat. Their little lass smiled up at them The ship began to shake And then the crew cast off the ropes To sail off up the lake. Now Lucy stood there on the pier Not knowing what to do, But Father shouted: ‘Never fear — We’ll soon be back for you.’ ‘Turn back the ship,’ poor Mother cried — It carried on full bore. Said people sitting at the stern: ‘He’s ne’er turned back before.’ So Father grabbed the second mate And, looking cross, he said: ‘Our little girl is on the pier And you’re full steam ahead. ‘Now tell the Captain, turn around!’ They all heard Father roar. The crew stood there and said as one: ‘He’s ne’er turned back before.’ Then focusing her telescope Ma spied the Captain’s wife And asked: ‘Who’s she canoodling with?’ The gossip now was rife. Now when it reached the Captain’s ears He bellowed: ‘Head for shore!’ The crew and passengers all gasped: ‘He’s ne’er turned back before.’ The Swan turned in a great wide arc Then reached the landing stage, And Captain leaped straight off the ship His face was puce with rage. The crew were pacing up and down Anticipating strife. Said Dad to Mum: ‘How do you know You saw the Captain’s wife?’ So Mother said ‘I can’t be sure,’ For words she had to grope — Admitting that some seagull’s mess Had blurred the telescope. The Captain didn’t find his wife Canoodling with another, And Father — he was looking smug — While Lucy hugged her mother. So everyone was happy now, And though the ship delayed, When Captain turned the Swan around Then history was made.

Jonathan Bryant, Worthing, W. Sussex.