Forget organic or free range... now clean-eating sisters insist on ‘astrologically farmed’ eggs
THEY’VE championed food fads from so-called ‘clean food’ to spiralising – but the Hemsley sisters’ latest superfood is a little more... out of this world.
Healthy-eating gurus Jasmine, 35, and her younger sister Melissa, 2 , last night put a space-age spin on the traditional English breakfast – using ‘astrologically farmed’ eggs.
On their Channel 4 programme Eating Well, the fashionable sisters championed biodynamic eggs, which have been produced ‘using the moon as a guide’.
The programme saw the pair visit a farmers’ market in Crystal Palace, south London, where they bought the unusual eggs as well as some biodynamically farmed vegetables.
Seen by some as the next step on from organic food, biodynamic farming is based on the theories of 1 th-century Austrian philosopher Rudolf Steiner, who claimed the best time to plant crops was two days before a full moon.
The chickens producing the eggs are fed on grain grown according to this theory, and a box of six costs £2.35, approximately 10 pence more than organic. Daniel Hoeberichts, of Orchard Eggs – the brand used by the Hemsleys – attempted to explain. ‘It’s about the constellation of the moon and other planets, the tides of the sea are guided by the force of the moon. It’s all about the equity of the farm. All the grain in each bird’s feed has been planted according to the astrological calendar,’ he said.
And Liz Cotton, who sells Orchard Eggs in Brighton, said: ‘It’s a bit strange but the eggs taste amazing – the yolks are bright yellow and they taste better than organic.’
However Amanda Cryer, a spokesman for the British Egg Information Service, said: ‘There is no difference in the nutritious value in eggs from different production systems, and this has been shown in government tests. If people want to be more environmentally conscious that’s fine. But there is no difference in nutrition, even with organic.’
Cauliflower again, i’m afraid. There’s no escape from it nowadays. a hundred years ago with meat in short supply it would have been oxo on toast that would have been the culinary fad to complain about.
fifty years ago it was fruit flan and fondue. five years ago i started trying to drink green tea, even though it tastes like bitter tears and sprout water.
Now it’s cauliflower, although you might not immediately recognise it at first glance. Cauliflower has become the Mike Yarwood of the food world. it’s sliced and deep fried as steak, grated to look like couscous or rice, or puréed into pretend mash potato.
in a new cooking show, eating well with Hemsley + Hemsley, it’s even faffed, blitzed and moulded with buckwheat and ground almonds into ‘pizza bases’ with much the same earnest purpose that i used to make mud pies.
Melissa and Jasmine Hemsley are impossibly glamorous, impossibly chirpy sisters, who claim good health lies in a gluten, grain and refined-sugar free regime.
instead, they advocate bone broth (meat stock to you and me), quinoa bars, and tons of disguised cauliflower.
The Helmsley’s say their clients called them ‘food fairies’ because they go through cupboards swapping ordinary table salt for ‘proper sea salt’ and substituting brownies with cakes made from sweetened mashed black beans.
How delicious! if i went into my kitchen cupboard and discovered that a Helmsley had swiped my biscuit tin and replaced it with something made from miso and legumes, then i too would have another name for the Helmsleys.
You may take issue with the idea there’s anything wrong with gluten or grains anyway; wholegrains are good for us, and gluten is problematic for a minority who suffer with celiac sprue.
and while the recipes sound healthy, some are not. The Hemsleys fuss about cheap sugar but often replace it with more exotic and expensive sugars, like date syrup or raw honey.
Their ‘Guilt free’ beany brownies contain 150ml of maple syrup, as well as 230g of ‘grass-fed’ butter. if you listen closely, you can hear your arteries whimper and surrender. Most of us already know what constitutes proper balanced meals – that’s why President obama once told a group of children that his favourite food was broccoli.
and then he probably said: ‘is Michelle out the room now? Cool, because it’s really banoffee pie.’
Because while we may wish we led more nutritionally righteous lives, most of us eat like opportunistic seagulls.
if only vice didn’t taste better than virtue. The Helmsley’s unconvincing solution is to trick our eyes and our palates by turning veg into strings of noodles with a gadget called a spiralizer.
However, if it’s spaghetti that you’re craving, then cold, raw strips of courgette just aren’t going to cut it. ironically, one vegetable which falls naturally into noodles is the spaghetti squash. as the name suggests, it’s very like spaghetti, but even by Hemsley standards it is also about as widely available as carb-free unicorn nipples.
earlier this week, Donald Trump said that his proposed ban on Muslim immigration was a suggestion, rather than a firm policy idea.
That’s how i think of the Helmsley’s vegetarian fettuccine and cauliflower crusts – a mere suggestion of pizza and pasta. Just as The Donald carries a suggestion of hair.