Ephraim Hardcastle
TORY MP Bernard Jenkin snidely deplores in the Commons Ukip leader Nigel Farage’s ‘you’ve never had proper jobs’ remark to fellow members of the European Parliament. Keen nudist Jenkin, 57, avoids mentioning that Farage had earlier been heckled by dim-looking MEPs. Why – particularly as a Brexit supporter – does he appear to take umbrage at Farage’s remarks? Perhaps because, as the son of ex-Tory minister Patrick Jenkin, 89, privileged Bernard was able to become became an MP aged 33.
OUR monarch begins a week of engagements in Scotland tomorrow, beginning with the opening of parliament. How will she avoid mentioning the majority vote there for Remain in the EU referendum? Her private secretary Sir Christopher Geidt is pondering that ticklish question.
FIRST Minister Nicola Sturgeon has a private audience with HM at the Palace of Holyroodhouse. ‘Will she be measuring up the curtains?’ wonders a source. Incidentally, Ms Sturgeon and the monarch share the same Munchkin-style height and shoe size.
MICHAEL Gove’s startling decision to stand for the Tory leadership surprises palace officials. They suspect him of leaking that the Queen expressed Brexit views at a Privy Council lunch. ‘He was ignored by HM as she waited for the lift after the State Opening of Parliament,’ says my source, adding: ‘Theresa May is preferred. By the way, HM and Ms May, both committed Anglicans, enjoy gossiping about church politics.’
THE Queen meets Northern Ireland’s deputy first minister, Sinn Fein MP Martin McGuinness, pictured, for a formal audience at Hillsborough Castle. Why behind closed doors? It spared the Duke of Edinburgh from having to shake the hand of a man allegedly implicated in the murder of his uncle, Earl Mountbatten, in 1979.
JENNIFER Saunders appears at the Absolutely Fabulous premiere wearing a Stella McCartney T-shirt emblazoned with the slogan: ‘Gluten free, dairy free, fur free.’ She’d have got one free, but suckers will have to pay £140.
SEVENTEEN years after the murder of Jill Dando, her BBC Crimewatch copresenter Nick Ross says: ‘I am five foot eight and Jill in her heels was five foot ten. In the closing shots on Crimewatch, as we stood side by side, she would quietly kick off her heels so she didn’t dominate me. She was a thoroughly nice person.’ Ross doesn’t sound too bad either.
HOLLYWOOD actress Lindsay Lohan, 29, is deplored by Kettering’s Tory MP Philip Hollobone (who?) for remarking dismissively (re areas that voted Leave) that she had ‘never heard’ of the Northamptonshire town. So Hollobone invites her to ‘come to Kettering and switch on the Christmas lights’. Where do we find such brilliant parliamentarians?