Who did try to knife RAF man? Alan Partridge?

TWO knifemen, described as ‘of Middle eastern appearance’, attempt to abduct a serviceman outside RAF Marham in norfolk. Police immediately issue a statement saying that there is nothing to suggest the incident is ‘terrorism-related’. So that’s all right, then. Perhaps the suspects were members of the local Lawrence of Arabia Appreciation Society. Or a couple of luvvies dressed as Wilson, Keppel and Betty on their way to Stephen Fry’s summer fancy dress party. Officers from norfolk CID are anxious to interview anyone seen performing a sand dance in the vicinity.

I suppose it could always have been a last day at school dare by students at a nearby sixthform college. Typically, these end-of-term high jinks involve stealing a policeman’s helmet or a traffic cone and sticking it on top of an equestrian statue in the market square.

Maybe this year they decided to up the ante and behead a squaddie, so they could impale his head on a pole outside the Corn exchange and post the pictures on their Facebook account. What larks. Alternatively, it could be down to the provisional wing of the Singing Postman Fan Club, angry at the decision by the British Forces Broadcasting network not to play hev Yew Gotta Loight Boy? until officers from Operation Yewtree have concluded their investigations into allegations that Postie may have committed ‘historic’ sex crimes against a young fan backstage at the Cambridge Folk Festival in 1970.

Although, it is only fair to point out, that the Singing Postman — aka Allan Smethurst — is, like Jimmy Savile, still dead. So I think we can probably discount that theory.

Then again, it could have been an elaborate publicity stunt staged by Alan Partridge, designed to draw attention to his struggling morning show on Radio norwich. Ah, ha! Obviously, Plod are ruling nothing in and ruling nothing out at this stage and clearly it would be insensitive to rush to conclusions based on ethnic stereotyping.

BUT now the Old Bill have admitted that the men they are looking for are both ‘of Middle eastern appearance’, perhaps we can hazard a guess at the motives behind this attack.

There’s always the chance that the two suspects were innocent passersby, a pair of waiters from the curry house in Swaffham, indulging in a little light plane-spotting on their afternoon off. It always helps to keep an open mind.

My hunch, however, is that on the evidence available there is a remote possibility that the incident might be — how can I put it? — terrorismrelated, though obviously nothing to do with Islam, perish the thought, peace be upon him etc.

After all, RAF Marham is where the Tornado jets currently bombing Islamic State back to the Stone Age are based. And the attempted abduction does bear remarkable similarities to the murder of Drummer Lee Rigby outside Woolwich barracks in South London three years ago.

The knifemen tried to capture the serviceman while he was running outside the base. he managed to escape and the suspects made off in a vehicle believed to be a Ford Galaxy.

That’s all we know, apart from the fact that they were ‘of Middle eastern appearance’. What puzzles me is why we didn’t find out any detail about this serious incident until almost 24 hours after it happened. And why the police were initially so reluctant to give a description of the assailants.

Still, trying to hide the identity of perpetrators of crime is par for the course these days. Remember the gang-rape of a young woman at Bluewater Shopping Centre in Kent a couple of months ago? The police tried to keep it quiet for weeks and when the story leaked out they still wouldn’t give any details of the ethnicity of the men involved. Yesterday, elsewhere in Kent, we learned that police were seeking witnesses to the rape of a woman in Bromley, again by a number of men. This attack happened on July 3, so why are details only emerging now?

And although detectives are appealing for witnesses, they are not supplying any description of the suspects other than to say they are looking for ‘men in their 20s’. That’s a great help. Could be anyone. So why so shy?

If Shaw Taylor were still around, he’d never be able to revive Police 5 for a modern audience. ‘Police are looking for some men. Keep ’em peeled.’ eh? I’m amazed that norfolk Plod even ventured the fact that the suspects in the RAF Marham attack are ‘of Middle eastern appearance’.

NORMALLY, it is official police policy never to offer up the ethnicity of suspects, for fear of falling foul of ‘diversity’ directives. This country is going the same way as most of europe, where police refuse to comment on crimes committed by migrants, especially in Germany and Sweden.

In the wake of mass sex attacks in Cologne and Stockholm, the authorities are desperate to cover up the fact that these crimes are being perpetrated by men recently arrived from north Africa and the Middle east, recklessly invited by Angela Merkel.

From the start of the ‘refugee’ crisis, some of us have been pointing out that the overwhelming majority of these ‘migrants’ are young men of military age, about whom we know less than zero.

It was always going to end in tears. The 17-year-old ‘Afghan refugee’ who ran amok on a train in Germany a few days ago is almost certainly not an Afghan and probably well over 17. In a separate incident in France this week, a mother and three daughters were attacked by another Muslim man because they were ‘immodestly’ dressed.

Who knows the true identity of the two RAF Marham knifemen, where they came from, how they got to Britain, or how long they’ve been here? All we have been told so far is that they are ‘of Middle eastern appearance’, so we can probably assume they’re not sons of Swaffham.

Last night, in the wake of the Marham attacks, police arrested two knifemen in separate incidents in Brighton and Ramsgate in Kent. Are these incidents connected, or copycat, or what?

Were they ‘terrorism-related’ or not? Almost certainly not, but rest assured: we’ll be the last to know.