England’s football widow must be tired of this game

FORTY-TWO years a slave, and no end in sight! Poor Lynn Allardyce — so near and yet so far. After a lifetime spent being a football widow, Sam Allardyce’s wife finally managed to wrangle a promise out of her old man.

Yes, he would slow down and spend more time with her and the grandchildren. Yes, darling, they would finally go on that Hawaiian cruise he’d always promised. Yes, he knows he nearly had a heart attack because of the game. The stress and pressure of being a football player, and then a manager, has all added up. Big Sam is only 61, but he looks 20 years older. So, yes, even with his job managing Sunderland, it was time to think about slowing down, to put her first for a change after more than four decades of marriage, to do the things she wanted, instead of a schedule revolving around his world and his interests.

I can see her now. Lynn already had her sarongs packed, a jaunty hibiscus tucked behind her ear as she hummed The Pina Colada Song under her breath. The table for two on the poop deck for the Mai Tai Waikiki Captain’s Ball? Already booked. And now this.

Following the resignation of Roy Hodgson after England’s disastrous performance in Euro 2016, Big Sam (pictured with Lynn) just accepted the job of managing the national squad. Which means that Mrs Allardyce has had to put her tropical retirement plans on hold. Again.

I wonder if he even discussed the matter with her? For him, this job is the dream of a lifetime — for her, it’s the ultimate nightmare. But if anyone can whip those spoiled, lacklustre English players into shape, it’s Sam. He is no respecter of reputations, not the type to pander to overpaid egos.

Lynn, I feel your pain. But right now, England needs your husband more than you do.