SALON-READY

Jane Packer Hydrangea, Rose and Orchid Rectangular Arrangement (£32, sainsburys.co.uk)

WHAT ARE THEY? Subtle colours make these polyester blooms look natural. NICKY HASLAM SAYS: This sad display belongs on the reception desk of a cheap nail bar. Pebbles in the vase — do they expect us to pop goldfish in? It’s just horrid.

It’s a shame because the peonies are ravishing — but the greenery looks like lettuce. 3/10