Lorraine Pascale
TV chef Lorraine Pascale, 43, was adopted when she was 18 months old and raised in Buckinghamshire. after several years as a top model, she trained as a chef, fronting several TV shows and writing bestselling cookbooks. She lives in London and has a 19-year-old daughter with her former husband.
Don’t be a victim of your past
TwenTy years ago, I read a quote by Viktor Frankl, the Austrian psychiatrist, about how we can choose our attitude in any given set of circumstances.
That idea stayed with me, but it wasn’t until my 40s that I put it into practice. Reading the biographies of Oprah, nelson Mandela and Sir Richard Branson, I found a common thread: you have to be responsible for your own state of mind.
It made me realise it’s easy to blame other people for our past, but there comes a time when you have to accept what’s happened and move on.
I have forgiven everyone from my past [including the adoptive mother who put Lorraine into emergency foster care at eight]. I forgive them not for themselves, but for myself, so I’m not sitting here full of resentment and blame.
Selfishly, I’ve forgiven them for my own emotional freedom. I could say ‘Poor me’, but that doesn’t get you anywhere.
Maybe I wouldn’t be here if I’d had a smoother ride? I’m in a great position now, with a job I love.
To me, modelling was just standing around like a coat hanger, whereas I’m a creative person. I didn’t want a job in which I was miserable. when I started cooking, it felt amazing to find something I loved.
Therapy is still a dirty word, but I highly recommend it. Having therapy in my 30s helped me find ways to manage my emotional triggers. My childhood was so chaotic, I ended up almost recreating that chaos as an adult, but I’ve realised a sense of security is important to me.
I had to go back to work just ten days after my adoptive mother died. I was due to film two big TV shows in America and, for three weeks, I was working 12hour days.
I was an emotional mess inside, but I remember thinking: “I can either not do this job or be grateful for this amazing opportunity.” Landing TV shows in America isn’t easy, so I decided I had to choose to be ‘happy’, give it my all, then come home and cry my eyes out when it was over.
I strongly believe you are responsible for creating the life you want.