Scottish Daily Mail

It’s time I stopped monkeying around

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I WAS once described by an excolleagu­e, who had read a book on the matter, as being ‘90 per cent chimp’. This appeared to mean I was driven almost wholly by my emotions rather than by calm logic. He had a point.

Having started a new job, I’m finding my inner chimp put to the test. It’s the kind of job that requires one’s presence at meetings. Lots of meetings. Long meetings. Meetings that are attended by lots of very bright people (it’s a university) who have cool, calm, logical and lengthy opinions on absolutely everything.

Previously, my tolerance level for meetings stood at around 12 minutes – the point at which I would glaze over, start examining my hair for fleas and motion for a banana. If the discussion stretched beyond 15 minutes there was a real risk I would leap on to the table and begin throwing stuff. After that… well, things might get out of hand.

Clearly, this just won’t do in the new gig – there’s only so often you can set off the fire alarm. I’ve been working on a convincing ‘concentrat­ing face’ while playing on my iPhone, but I could do with more options. Any thoughts?

 ??  ?? Little logic: A chimp
Little logic: A chimp

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