Pouring out your heart to a friend can kill a romance

THEY listen to your problems and offer support – but your girlfriends could be more of a hindrance than a help when it comes to relationships, experts say.

The US study found that women who poured their heart out to a confidante were a third more likely to break up with their partner than those who did not.

Rather than being a shoulder to cry on, it seems friends merely add to issues with their meddling.

The research, led by family therapist Dr Jakob Jensen of East Carolina University, said: ‘Our findings suggest that turning away from the partner to a friend may only exacerbate relationship problems and contribute to romantic instability. Discussing romantic challenges with one’s partner likely has a positive impact immediately and over time.’

In the study, published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 67 women in their 20s were asked about their romantic relationships. Researchers found that sharing concerns with a friend

‘Undesirable individual traits’

increased the odds of a break-up by 33 per cent – but talking it out with a lover doubled the chances of staying together.

The report added that girlfriends who may have a negative attitude to their best friend’s partner might be feeling jealous if they have problems too – wanting to share their own misery.

The researchers said: ‘Individuals who display poorer conflict resolution skills have also been found to possess undesirable individual traits – less empathy and more neuroticism; partners may more readily turn away from such persons when dealing with a romantic problems.’

The report, in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, concluded that friends could have a big impact on couple counselling: ‘Our study suggests that, for better and sometimes for worse, the social network does not sit idly by while people struggle in their romantic unions.’