The dastardly Mr. Deedes

Institute of Directors chairman Lady Barbara Judge, 69, has been passed over for a position overseeing the Bank of England. The Yank with a platinum blonde bun who has a taste for delicate pie-crust collars often worn by French courtiers, was overheard grumbling she’d failed the interview. When they quizzed her about her most defining moment, the thrice-married mum recounted a family achievement. ‘I think they wanted to hear about a business triumph,’ she moaned. That’s never stopped Lady Judge before. The networker par excellence landed a job at the UK Atomic Energy Authority despite no previous experience – it saw her dubbed by wags as ‘The Atomic Kitten’. Former tax exile, billionaire chemicals boss Jim Ratcliffe, 64, has moved his company Ineos back to the UK. At the opening of their new offices, opposite Harrods in Knightsbridge, guests were left gawping at the identikit toned workers Jim employs. The fitness nut, who has a £3.2bn fortune, loves to join staff for a spot of group yoga on his lunch break and has put in a gym on one of the five floors. Twice-married Ratty, who grew up in a Yorkshire council house, is about to ship off 30 graduate trainees to Namibia to run a half marathon, cycle in the desert, and climb mountains. Confessed one staff member: ‘We’re all becoming terrified of using the lift.’ Nick Beighton, boss of online retailer Asos, wants to convert a disused air raid shelter that’s connected to the firm’s offices in north London. But like so many trendy internet firms, this won’t be for more desks. Rather, chipper Nick, 48, wants to open a bar for employees. Asos staff do like to party. Earlier this year, Beighton’s predecessor Nick Robertson, 49, had to stump up £70m to exwife Janine after he moved in with his PA Charlotte Balin – who is 15 years his junior. An Evening with Ed Balls is currently being offered to Norwich City football club fans. In an email listing his major achievements, the 49-year-old is first described as chairman of Norwich City, and then a Strictly Come Dancing star. Poor Ed’s days as shadow chancellor seem to be relegated to a footnote. Some Canaries fans would like to see the newly trim Labour politician’s time at the club go the same way. When he was appointed they’d just beaten Manchester United. They’re now struggling after being relegated. Gluttons for punishment can snap up a VIP ticket to see Ed for £99. Availability is currently ‘very good’.