Greatest gift any mother could give
Joyous . . . Uplifting . . . the 44-year-old woman who gave birth to her cancer victim daughter’s baby (even though Daddy found it all a bit confusing)
He IS only a week old, but little J ack J enkins i s a lready proving to be a rather s pecial baby. He barely wakes during the night, and doesn’t cry much either. ‘We are so lucky,’ says his proud mother, Jessica.
Grandma Julie Bradford concurs. ‘He’s just perfect isn’t he?’ she says. ‘To us, he’s a C hristmas miracle.’
It’s an over-used phrase, but here it feels a bsolutely accurate, because Jessica, 21, once feared she would never be able to fulfil her dream of becoming a mum.
Told s he h ad g rade 2 c ervical c ancer w hen s he was o nly 1 8 — o ne o f t he y oungest w omen i n t he country t o b e d iagnosed — s he l earned t hat t he aggressive radiotherapy required to treat the disease would also leave her infertile.
There was only one hope: Jessica had time — just — to have her eggs harvested and frozen, although she would have to rely on a surrogate mother to carry a baby to term. Step forward her o wn m um, J ulie — w ho, a t 4 5 a nd w ith t hree grown-up children, had thought her childbearing days were over, but who leapt at the chance to carry her own grandchild.
‘Any mother in the same situation would do this for their child,’ she says.
Today, t he r esult o f h er s elfless a ct i s s noozing in h is w icker c rib i n J essica’s c osy l iving r oom i n Rhymney, Wales — a tiny, brown-haired bundle who looks the image of his dad, Rees.
It is no surprise that both Jessica and her 27year-old husband have to pinch themselves every time they look at their baby son.
‘It’s h ard t o p ut i nto w ords,’ s ays J essica. ‘ Less than three years ago, I was staring at a grim diagnosis. Now I am having my first Christmas as a mother, and it’s only thanks to my own mum t hat i t’s p ossible. I w ill n ever r eally b e a ble to thank her enough.’
She need not worry: Julie has all the thanks she needs in the form of cuddles from her newborn grandson. ‘He was always my grandson, from t he v ery s tart,’ s he s ays. ‘ I w as j ust l ooking after him for his mum.’
It i s a n e xtraordinary t urn o f e vents f or a f amily who would be the first to admit that until now they would have considered themselves anything but out of the ordinary.
Married for 24 years, Julie and her husband Calwyn, 4 7, h ad r aised J essica a nd h er b rothers, Dane, n ow 2 3, a nd 2 2-year-old J ordan, a nd w ere looking forward to an uneventful middle age when their world imploded in 2013.
Jessica, then just 18 and planning to start her own h airdressing b usiness, h ad v isited t he d ocIt’s tor c omplaining o f b leeding a nd p ain in h er l ower b elly a nd w as r eferred t o a specialist.
‘I remember Jessica ringing me on the way home from the doctor’s crying, saying she might have cancer,’ Julie recalls. ‘I didn’t really have a clue what to do — it’s not something you expect. She was so young that I thought there had to be a mistake’.
A b iopsy a f ew d ays l ater c onfirmed their worst fears. ‘All I felt was pure fear. At that stage, they didn’t know how f ar i t h ad g one o r w hether i t w as curable,’ says Julie quietly.
The initial signs were positive: exploratory surgery appeared to show that the cancer had been c ontained, meaning it could be treated with chemotherapy.
Within days though, the news had worsened: a scan showed the cancer was grade 2B, meaning it had spread to Jessica’s lymph nodes and would require immediate radiotherapy — which would leave her infertile.
Not only that, but Jessica’s cancer wassoadvanceddoctorsfelttheycouldn’t risk taking the time to h arvest her eggs, a process that would normally take four weeks.
For a young woman on the cusp of her adult life, it was a shocking blow. AlreadyengagedtofianceRees,amachine setter whom she had met aged j ust 1 5, s he h ad h oped t o s tart a family soon after they married.
‘Learning I could never have children o f m y o wn w as w orse t han b eing told I had cancer,’ she says. ‘I felt I could cope with that. But to think I was never going to become a mum was just horrible.‘
Her thoughts, too, were for Rees. ‘I told him that if he wanted to have a family, I c ouldn’t g ive t hat t o h im, a nd I would understand if he wanted to walk away. It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to say, but it seemed t he r ight t hing t o d o.’ Rees wouldn’t hear of it. ‘I loved her for saying it, but there was n ever a ny d oubt i n m y m ind t hat I would stand by her,’ he says. ‘I felt that there were other ways to be a parent. I just wanted Jessica to be ok. All we could do was place our faith in the doctors.’
BuT incredibly, the pair were thrown a lifeline. Two days after her diagnosis, Jessicareceived a c all f rom t he hospital saying they were going to harvest her eggs as quickly as possible. The deadline was a fortnight — thelongestmedicsfelttheycouldsafely delay treatment.
‘I was thrilled,’ says Jessica. ‘It meant I had a chance.’
A course of injections to boost her egg production followed, and ten days later she went to Cardiff’s u niversity of Wales Hospital to have her eggs harvested. only a few hours later, she crossed town to the city’s Velindre Cancer Centre to start her first course of radiotherapy.
By t hen, J ulie h ad a lready o ffered t o act as her daughter’s surrogate. As a family, t hey a re ar eserved b unch a nd Julie says: ‘I sat her down and said simply that I would do it for her.’
‘It was the obvious thing to do. I’ve always known that Jess longed to become a mother. I felt so helpless about the cancer, but this was something I could do something about. a mother’s instinct — you will do anything you can to make your c hildren happy.’
Husband C alwyn w as i n t otal a greement. ‘Jess is his little girl. He felt exactly the same way,’ says Julie.
Not even the fact that Julie had gone through the menopause at the early age of 38 could stand in their way, because she took medication to allow her to carry a child.
Jessica’s main focus, meanwhile, was beating cancer and she succumbed to the gruelling treatment — ar adiotherapy s ession e very w eekday for two months, plus weekly chemotherapy — emboldened by the knowledge that doctors had harvested 21 eggs, ten of which had survived and been turned into embryos.
And as her proud mother testifies, not only did Jessica not complain, but she carried on attending hairdressing college each day after her treatment. ‘Her attitude was, “We’ve got to get on with it.” ’
JeSSICA, it turns out, had her eye on the future. ‘I wanted to get my career sorted s o t hat I c ould h ave my own business ready for starting a family,’ she says.
Her treatment ended in July 2014, but she would have to wait a further three months before being told she was in remission at the end of october. ‘It was the biggest weight off my shoulders,’ Jessica recalls. ‘I felt like my life could start again.’
Motherhood, h owever, h ad t o w ait a little longer because Jessica wanted to g et m arried f irst a nd a lso d eal w ith another m edical s ide-effect ( the r adiotherapy had damaged her bladder and k idneys, a nd s he h ad t o b e f itted with a stent in her kidney that she will require for the rest of her life).
‘We wanted to get our house and I wanted t o m ake s ure m y h airdressing business w as s uccessful,’ s ays J essica. ‘You want to give your child the best future, like any mum.’
With the help of a cancer charity, Rees and Jessica were married in Florida in october 2015 — a year to the day since she had been told she was i n r emission. W hen t hey r eturned home, they were determined to become parents.
‘The offer had always been there and M um w asn’t g etting a ny y ounger,’ says Jessica.
Rees,howeverfoundtheprocessmore c omplex. ‘ Jess a nd I h ad t alked about the pros and cons of using her mum as opposed to someone we didn’t know, but the more I thought about it the more it made sense. We knew we could have complete trust in Julie — and Jess would be able to be involved every day.’
A b attery o f t ests f ollowed t o e nsure Julie was healthy enough to carry a child, a nd o n C hristmas e ve 2 015, s he started taking a course of hormones which would help to thicken her womb lining in preparation for a pregnancy. She also had to inject h erself e very d ay t o a void b lood c lots — a possible consequence of taking the hormones.
By March 30 she was ready, and C alwyn drove his wife and daughter to hospital for one of Jessica’s frozen embryos to be implanted in Julie’s womb — a process that took less than ten minutes.
A tense two weeks followed while the w hole f amily w aited t o s ee i f J ulie was pregnant. ‘I was frightened,’ recalls Julie. ‘Jess is a very positive person, but I didn’t want her to get her hopes up.’
Two weeks later, on April 9 — two years to the day since Jessica had learned s he m ay b e l eft i nfertile — s he took the home pregnancy test that would change her life.
Gathered together with Rees and Jessica a t t heir h ome, t he t rio w aited with bated breath for the result.
‘The b lue l ine s aying I w as p regnant came u p a lmost i nstantly,’ s ays J ulie. ‘We a ll j ust h ugged a nd c ried. I f elt s o lucky a nd r elieved t hat i t h ad w orked the first time.’
Mother a nd d aughter, a lready c lose, became inseparable, with Jessica accompanying Julie to all her antenatal appointments. ‘I wanted to be there e very s tep o f t he w ay,’ s ays J ess. ‘In some ways, it was exactly the
same as if I’d carried him. My only worry was Mum’s health. I didn’t want to put her at risk.’
She needn’t have worried: save for late-onset, pregnancy-related diabetes — a common condition controlled by insulin — Julie remained in good health.
‘I felt great,’ she says. ‘The difference with my previous pregnancies is that when they were my own, I didn’t have a care in the world. This time the stakes were so high.’
For his part, Rees admits he initially struggled to get his head round the reality of his route to fatherhood.
‘I sort of distanced myself for a little bit,’ he confesses. ‘It was a bit weird to think my baby was being carried by my mother-in-law. I didn’t want to touch her tummy at first, as it didn’t seem real.
‘I was also worried it wasn’t going to work and the impact that could have on Jess and Julie, as they are so close. Obviously I didn’t let Jess know. I just wanted to stay strong for her, but I would talk to my dad about it instead. But then as the pregnancy progressed and Julie started to show, it suddenly clicked that that was my baby in there.’
Rees and Jessica laugh as they recall the first time they felt their son kick at around 22 weeks.
‘I had my head on Mum’s tummy and he kicked me right in the ear,’ Jessica smiles.
Around the same time, a scan showed they were having a son and they finally began to relax enough to decorate the nursery in blue.
On December 1, Julie was admitted to hospital — two weeks ahead of the December 14 due date, so she could be induced to avoid any diabetes complications, with Jessica by her side. All through the night, Jessica slept fitfully in a hospital chair beside her mother until the next morning, at 5.30, Julie’s waters broke. Just over three hours later, with Jessica holding her mum’s hand, Jack emerged into the world, a beautiful, perfect little boy weighing 6lb 8oz.
‘It was horrible seeing Mum in pain during labour,’ Jessica says. ‘I felt so helpless. But then I actually could see Jack’s head coming out with his dark hair and I started to cry as for some reason I knew he would have dark hair,’ Jessica recalls. ‘I cut the cord and he came straight to me. I said to Mum: “No words can thank you enough for what you’ve done for us.” Rees was crying his eyes out.’
For Julie, the sight of her daughter holding her baby son was ‘just beautiful’.
It’s one she hasn’t tired of yet — while a week in, Jessica has taken to motherhood like a duck to water. ‘I feel like I was destined to be a mum,’ she says. ‘Everything makes sense.’ She and Rees haven’t ruled out having more children, although Jessica would not ask her mum to step in again.
‘I think she’s done enough don’t you?” she laughs.
Instead, Jessica, who has to undergo three-monthly checks to ensure her cancer remains at bay, plans to investigate pioneering womb transplant technology.
But that is all in the future. For now, the family are looking forward to the happiest of Christmases. Rees has bought his son a Superman Babygro, while Grandma Julie is also planning to spoil her first grandchild rotten.
‘It’s wonderful seeing them so happy and knowing I played a part in that,’ she says.
Jessica, meanwhile, knows only too well how lucky she’s been.
‘The reason I’m a mum,’ she says ‘is because I’ve got the best mum in the world.’