Stephen McGowan on Old Firm wonder goal

IT’S not difficult to picture the scene in Ross County’s home dressing room last Sunday. Euphoria, back slapping and handshakes all round. High-fives in celebration of taking a point from Scotland’s champions.

Alex Schalk’s dive to win a late penalty against Celtic was an embarrassing business.

But spare us the notion of a repentant sinner watching

Sportscene then spending the rest of the night praying for forgiveness.

Any contrition came later; when a spiralling row pushed County into a bout of PR fire fighting.

Brendan Rodgers applied the pressure by branding Schalk’s dive ‘blatant cheating’.

The SFA moved as quickly as bank holiday weekends allow to administer a two-match retrospective suspension. Schalk was promptly frog-marched out to offer a public apology via the national media.

Listen, when the County striker says it won’t happen again he might mean every word.

But something about his road to Damascus moment doesn’t quite ring true.

Because, let’s be blunt here, within Scottish football simulation is privately accepted. It’s fair game.

Already this season, Jamie Walker of Hearts has been hit with a two-game ban for diving to win a penalty in August. Celtic’s Moussa Dembele escaped punishment for throwing himself to the ground against Dundee and Rangers. Kudus Oyenuga of Morton got off with feigning injury against Hibs. And the less said about Joe Garner’s head-to-head with Aberdeen’s Ryan Jack the better.

This should be a concern. The old complacent nonsense about diving being a ‘foreign disease’ no longer cuts it.

Supporters see what they want to see. Many kid themselves diving is something the ‘other lot’ do. ‘Never mind us, what about them?’ goes the cry.

Strip away the blinkers and every dressing room in Scotland houses professional footballers who think conning a pretty hopeless bunch of referees is a legitimate tactic of war.

The ex-pros in the media are no better.

‘Anticipating the contact’ is the fashionable new phrase. The catch-all get-out clause.

Yet mere mortals can recognise ‘anticipating the contact’ for what it really is. Cheating.

Listen, maybe we’ve all got this wrong. In European football, simulation is part of the culture. They don’t see what the fuss is about. Here, it’s regarded as one of football’s last taboos. Up there with spitting and growing a Gareth Bale ponytail on the list of unacceptable behaviours. All of which raises a question. If supporters regard diving as a scourge, why don’t the SFA?

Current penalties are woefully inadequate. They wouldn’t stop the Dalai Lama.

When a player throws himself to the ground, the worst-case scenario is a trial by Sportscene and a verbal kicking in the court of human opinion. The SFA? They’re happy to dole out the footballing equivalent of parking fines. Imagine Don Robertson had actually clocked Schalk pulling a fast one on Sunday — and Celtic fans need some convincing he didn’t.

The punishment would have been a yellow card.

That’s the same sanction doled out to Celtic defender Jozo Simunovic for protesting about the penalty seconds later. But ask yourself this: what’s

really the more serious crime? A bit of back chat to the ref or a striker cynically calculating that he can gain an unfair advantage by cheating to win a penalty?

The SFA treat the two offences the same way. Schalk is only missing two games because an inept refereeing team missed his actions at the time.

Give the governing body some credit.

Former chief executive Gordon Smith made Scotland the first nation to introduce retrospective punishments for conmen six years ago.

Smith now argues it should go further. That the first dive should bring a two- game ban, with three or four games for repeat offenders.

Better still would be a proper, punitive crackdown. Hammering obvious, blatant dives with five or six games, no questions asked.

As an absolute minimum, simulation should now be deemed a red-card offence.

Because it’s clear the message isn’t getting through.

Miscarriages of justice happen because players calculate — rightly — that conning refs brings the same punishment as a tug on a jersey. It’s a nonsense.

Let’s face it. There’s no reason Alex Schalk should stay on his feet. Now when a bit of the old Greg Louganis brings nothing stronger than a slap on the wrists.