Ephraim Hardcastle
DESPITE the Church of England’s diktat that weddings should be open to the public, rubbernecking gatecrashers will be denied access to St Mark’s, Englefield, for Pippa Middleton’s nuptials next month. They will simply be turned away. But the church has a vested interest in such events. Hiring a church or cathedral privately can cost thousands. By using the local parish church, Pippa’s dad Michael Middleton only had to shell out £424, the statutory fee, plus £41 for the calling of the banns and certificates.
PETER Lilley, 73, standing down after 34 years as a Tory MP, still bristles at false gossip that he had an affair with colleague Michael Portillo. Happily married Lilley once pointed out: ‘I find homosexuality as unappetising as eating cardboard.’ Excitable former Tory politician Jerry Hayes, 64, claims responsibility, saying: ‘Over lunch with a TV editor, he referred to Michael’s latest haircut: “I see Portillo has changed his bob for a bouffant.” “I suspect it’s because he’s sh***ing Lilley,” I joked. A few weeks later a mate from ITN sidled up, saying he had some high-grade gossip. “You’ll never believe it, but Portillo is sh***ing Lilley,” he said. My face reddened. “But that’s utter rubbish!” I protested.’ Isn’t Hayes a great loss to Parliament?
‘SELFIE queen’ Karen Danczuk, 33, hoping to become a Labour MP in Bury North, complains that her political credentials were dismissed by the party’s former caretaker leader Harriet Harman, 66, pictured. The estranged wife of frisky Rochdale MP Simon Danczuk, 50, recalled: ‘When I first met Harriet Harman she said I was far too pretty to be interested in politics and should be in Girls Aloud.’ Hardly very sisterly, Harriet!
JEREMY Corbyn received a boost when snooker ace Ronnie ‘The Rocket’ O’Sullivan backed him to be the next prime minister. Chuffed Corbyn sent him a tweet. But O’Sullivan admits he plays snooker in part to pay his child’s school fees. Join Corbyn’s club. Jez’s chum Shami Chakrabarti sends her son to fee-paying Dulwich College; his ex-lover Diane Abbott sent her son to feepaying City of London School; Emily Thornberry’s son went to a selective school; and Corbyn’s two closest aides, Seumas Milne and James Schneider, both attended top public school Winchester College. Let’s hope Ronnie’s crashing out of the world championship last night isn’t an omen.
LABOUR MEP Sion Simon, 48, seeking election as Birmingham’s first mayor, says in his manifesto: ‘This is the place of Shakespeare.’ Stratford-upon-Avon luvvies, outside the mayoral constituency, will be surprised to learn that the Bard was a Brummie.
RELIEVING himself during a break in the Classic Rock Awards, Guns N’ Roses guitarist Slash, 51, found himself standing next to Uriah Heap founder Mick Box, 69, who confided: ‘I saw Slash with his bodyguard, so I went to the urinal next to him – just so I could say I had a slash next to Slash [laughs], though under the circumstances, I didn’t shake his hand.’