The Dastardly MR. Deedes

Anyone catch that dramatic youTube video last week showing motorists swerving around a boat which had fallen from a trailer on a busy Exeter roundabout? City folk recognise the 25ft vessel as belonging to Zeus Capital chief executive John Goold, a gregarious Donald Trump look-alike, who was transporting it to Padstow when it broke free from its fastenings. Says Gooldy: ‘Some locals were incredibly helpful and eventually got it back on the trailer. The boat’s my little pride and joy. It suffered a bit of a sore bottom but thankfully no proper damage.’

Yahoo glamourpuss Marissa Mayer resigned yesterday after the internet firm’s £3.5bn takeover by Verizon was completed. In a farewell note to staff, honey-blonde Marissa, 42, gushes: ‘I want all of you to know that I’m brimming with nostalgia, gratitude, and optimism.’ As well she might be! As a result of the deal, Mayer’s waltzing off with £207m in her skyrocket.

Dapper ex-M&S boss Lord Rose, who chaired the ill-fated Britain Stronger in Europe campaign, is far less whiny than his fellow pro-EU campaigners. He tells ITV he doesn’t want a second referendum, accepts his side lost and insists ‘a friendly divorce is still possible’. Do you share my suspicion that Lord Smoothychops’s heart was never fully in the Remain campaign?

Bull-necked former Goldman Sachs president Gary Cohn is said to be questioning his decision to join Donald Trump’s administration. Cohn, who gave up his £17m-a-year role at Goldman to serve as director of the National Economic Council, has reportedly become frustrated with the President’s outlandishness. Asked recently by a friend what it was like to serve for Trump, Cohn, 56, replied through gritted teeth: ‘You can imagine.’

Depressing – not to say unsettling – sign of the times: UBS’s sparkling new City offices on Broadgate have now been fitted with ‘impact-tested’ flower planters made out of steel and concrete at the front of the building to repel any vehicles packed with explosives.