Shona’s got Kim quaking

THE cyber hack that crippled the NHS last month was the handiwork of the sinister Lazarus Group in North Korea.

It means Kim Jong-un has ruthless hordes hovering over computer screens in a bunker somewhere and we have… Shona Robison.

The Health Secretary told a Holyrood committee that in response to Pyongyang she has unleashed a devastating, eh, review of IT security.

Kim will be cowering under his bed in terror.

Miss Robison reminds me of Mavis Wilton in Coronation Street – essentially decent but a timid prevaricator to whose name ‘go-getter’ and ‘inspirational’ never attach.

The Korean hack stopped people making GP and hospital appointments. Miss Robison managed the same thing all on her own.

The GP shortage is so acute in the South-West that serious consideration was given to deploying the Royal Army Medical Corps, who could get valuable combat-zone experience in pretty much any Scottish A&E.