The PM was back to her calm self, but Hammond had developed a twitch

JEREMY Corbyn poses as some sort of Werther’s Originals grandfather but his language at Prime Minister’s Questions hardly fitted that image.

Conservative backbencher Marcus Fysh (Yeovil) asked Theresa May: ‘Is she aware of the crisis in Venezuela and is it an example of how an experiment in socialist revolution can go horribly wrong?

Mr Corbyn, from a sedentary position, appeared to mutter: ‘What a complete w ***** .’

Grandpa! Mr Fysh, a soft-spoken but interesting figure, had merely pointed out that the socialist utopia envisaged for our small isle by Mr Corbyn (an admirer of the late Venezuelan hefe Hugo Chavez) might not be such a practical idea. You know: High taxes, state control, a hard-Left regime... followed by economic collapse and judicial mayhem.

In the ‘kinder, gentler’ politics Mr Corbyn claims to espouse, should Citizen Fysh not have been thanked for his internationalism and his concern? Instead he was apparently called a ‘w ***** ’.

A Labour Party official later strongly denied that Mr Corbyn had uttered any sort of rudery. Perhaps he merely called Winchester-educated Mr Fysh a ‘Wykehamist’.

The first PMQs of the Parliament ran almost 25 minutes over time. This was partly because Speaker Bercow has a fetish for calling everyone mentioned on the Order Paper, partly because he indulged the frontbenchers.

The session began with SE Cornwall’s Sheryll Murray (Con) telling the House that during the election campaign she had swastikas carved into her posters, social media posts such as ‘Burn the witch’ and ‘Stab the c***’ and other delightful things happen.

What with Mr Corbyn’s remark about Mr Fysh, and the hoo-hah about Jon Snow screaming ‘f*** the Tories’ down at Glastonbury, these are sweary times. It is time to invest in asterisks, perhaps.

Mrs Murray reflected that this was all some way from Mr Corbyn’s allegedly more benevolent politics. Mrs May said it was disgraceful and we would do well to remember what happened to the unfortunate Jo Cox, Batley & Spen’s Labour MP who was murdered a year ago. Mrs May raised her eyes towards Mrs Cox’s coat of arms which has been placed on the wall of the Chamber.

Mr Corbyn ignored all this talk about thuggery. Instead he opened with mention of the Hillsborough prosecutions, praising only Labour figures who had campaigned on the matter. Tory MPs pointed out that Mrs May had done a lot to force officialdom to do the right thing by the Hillsborough families. Mr Corbyn, again, set his face against their suggestion that he acknowledge her noble work. Mrs May modestly ignored his petty slight.

For the next ten minutes or so, Mr Corbyn tried to make political advantage out of the Grenfell Tower fire. ‘It has exposed the disastrous effects of austerity,’ he cried, over heckles of ‘shameless’ by Tory MPs. ‘A disregard for working-class communities,’ continued Mr Corbyn, ‘and the terrible consequences of deregulation.’

MRS May, in reply, quietly pointed out that the cladding of tower blocks began under the Blair government, the Regulatory Reform (Fire Safety) Order was passed by a Labour government in 2005, and the practice of routine fire-service inspections ended in 2006. ‘This is a matter that has been developing over decades,’ she argued. But what did Mr Corbyn care? So long as his young supporters think that Tories are wicked murderers, he will be happy.

The Prime Minister was back to her calm, pre-election self, looking a great deal fresher than some of her Cabinet colleagues. Boris had great bags under his eyes and Philip Hammond seemed to have developed a twitch in the right eye.

For all the rudeness evident elsewhere at Westminster, we will close with a chivalrous vignette. Sir Nicholas Soames (Con, Mid Sussex), these days as slender as a gazelle, spotted sometime TV star Esther McVey (Con, Tatton), who has just returned to the Commons after she lost her old Merseyside seat in 2015. Sir Nicholas stood, did a small bow, clicked his heels and uttered words of gentlemanly congratulation. He was rewarded with a double kiss.

I do believe the old boy blushed.