Your dad isn’t bad, he needs your help

Sheriff’s moving letter to custody battle children

A SHERIFF has been praised for writing to the children of two warring parents explaining why their father has been granted access. Sheriff Aisha Anwar penned the 900-word letter after a bitter custody battle between their parents.

In it, she tells the boy and girl that their father isn’t a ‘bad dad’ and that he ‘needs help from you to understand how you feel’.

In her summary the sheriff also told the children, whose identities have been protected, to forgive their father for locking them in their rooms when they were naughty.

She also advised the pair, referred to as Julie and Brian, both aged under 12, to remember the times they enjoyed together on holiday and playing in the garden. After a hearing at Glasgow Sheriff Court, she ruled on March 1 that he should remain in contact.

In her letter, tweeted by the Judiciary of Scotland, Sheriff Anwar wrote: ‘Your mum and dad have asked me to make a decision on whether you should see your dad.

‘I think that as my decision is all about you, it is only fair that I should write to you.’

She added: ‘Sometimes, when parents split up it is very hard for them to stay friends. Your mum and dad have found it very hard to stay friends. Sometimes when people are no longer friends, they can say some nasty things about each other.

‘Your dad’s job is to care for you, protect you, love you, help you, make good plans for you and to know what is right for you. Sometimes, he has not been very good at that. He has locked you in your rooms when you have been naughty and you haven’t liked that. He has sworn at you sometimes and you haven’t liked that. When you were younger, he washed you and he was a bit rough, and you didn’t like that.

‘I don’t believe that your dad meant to hurt you or to be mean to you in doing the things that he has done. I believe that he did not really think about how you would feel. That does not make him a bad dad.’

Over 11 days of hearings both the pursuer, referred to as Mr Patrick, and his estranged wife, referred to as Mrs Patrick, gave evidence. A detective constable, who had conducted inter- views with the two children in relation to allegations of sexual abuse involving Mr Patrick, also gave evidence.

In her ruling, Sheriff Anwar did not find these allegations established.

Julie and Brian did not want contact with him, the hearing was told. A third, younger child, referred to as Angela, six, will also be affected.

Janys Scott, QC, chairman of the Faculty of Advocates’ Family Law Association, said: ‘The letter from Sheriff Anwar is the Scottish courts at their best.

‘She has not only made the decision she considers is in the children’s best interests, but she has thought carefully how to explain it to them. It would be great if this were a pattern for future cases.’

‘Scottish courts at their best’