Charity work helping Milne see light at end of tunnel in his ongoing struggle with depression
IAIN ‘The Bear’ Milne walks into the Edinburgh hotel looking if not half the man he was, then certainly a much trimmer, healthier version.
Scotland’s 1984 Grand Slam rugby legend has lost seven stone and 6lbs since his courageous and candid interview with Sportsmail back in February this year, where he revealed his struggles with his weight and depression.
During the intervening period, he has also raised a remarkable £19,000 for the Prince’s Trust and the Bill McLaren Foundation through his charity weight loss.
The former Scotland and British and Irish Lion, who met his target last weekend, will not reveal his starting weight — ‘That’s my little secret,’ he jokes — but it was enough to cause him problems with his health.
‘My weight issues got worse over the last seven years with the start of my depression,’ he admits. ‘My lifestyle suffered because I felt so low at times I didn’t want to get out of bed. I just wanted to sleep.
‘Eating and drinking, eating in particular, became my “go to” when I felt down.
‘I was in a vicious circle. The heavier you are, the less exercise you can do. I could hardly walk, I could hardly stand, could not tie shoelaces. I was in a bad place physically and mentally and, as I told you, if I’d had a gun I might have thought about suicide.
‘Despite all sorts of efforts, I failed miserably to get fit and alter my lifestyle but that has changed with my weight loss to raise funds for charity. Knowing I had a target to meet and people supporting my efforts really helped.’
His first interview was met with a hugely positive reaction from all over the country. Businesses and schools, as well as individuals, were in contact asking him to talk to them about mental health and to tell his story to try and help others.
Milne had chosen to speak out to raise awareness of mental health problems and to show that anybody — even a rough, tough rugby player — can be affected.
‘I was still in a bit of a dark place in February but, although I am not totally better yet, I am improving,’ he reveals. ‘The difference in me between when we last spoke and now is night and day but there are still occasional shades of grey cropping up.
‘Hopefully, I can continue to raise awareness and get everybody, including sports men and women, talking more about depression.
‘I played rugby for Scotland and that is looked on as maybe a macho thing to do, but there are a lot of people who have mental health problems in all walks of life.
‘There is an embarrassment about talking about it in some quarters with some people thinking that you are weak. If you can talk about your depression it can help. Some will listen and understand. Others don’t.
‘I would like to get businesses to understand a bit more about it. The bottom line is that if you are not at your best mentally and not looking after yourself, then your business and personal life suffers.
‘Eating better and cutting out alcohol, although I like a dram when I go fishing, and exercising to lose weight has helped me this year. There have been moments, like all who suffer from depression, when the darkness returned.’
That came in May when he tried to take on too much in terms of speaking arrangements and the depression hit him hard again for the whole month.
‘There is no automatic fix for depression,’ continues Milne. ‘I was doing pretty well. I had done some after-dinner speaking and I started to have a couple of schools and businesses come to me to ask if I could speak about mental health. And quite a few individuals who wanted to chat to me which was great.
‘I took on too much and crashed in May, which shows I wasn’t quite ready and not at the stage of recovery I thought I was. I did not have my own space, the demons came back and my exercise and food regimes were affected.
‘I went back to my old ways, ate too much and put on 5lbs. It knocked me back a bit and made me aware I was still not 100 per cent and I had to look after myself which I have tried to do since.’
There is now certainly a spring in the step of the former tight-head, who remains heavily involved in his former club Heriot’s. He also has strong views on Edinburgh Rugby, who he believes hopefully like him, will leave their dark days behind them.
‘Richard Cockerill is an inspired choice and Edinburgh are lucky to have him but he has limited resources,’ says Milne. ‘They have been struggling to get top players to join because they haven’t been successful but, under Cockerill, that can change.
‘Certainly, speaking to some of the Edinburgh players, there has been a real sea change from the time Alan Solomons was in charge.
‘What the club has to do is get more fans along. I accept the best way to do that is keep winning but Edinburgh is a real rugby city and they should be attracting more people to games.
‘It is sad to see they can’t even fill Myreside but they should know there is a massive rugby audience in Edinburgh and have to work
harder to sell the professional club to the rugby community.
‘They are still playing catch-up with Glasgow, who are on the right track with the appointment of Dave Rennie freshening things up there. Edinburgh can come good again, though, as they have the right man in Cockerill to help them put things right.’
As Milne prepares to leave, he looks in a much better place than he was seven months ago.
‘I did half an hour on the treadmill which is the longest I have done in 20 years,’ he says with a sense of pride. ‘I might even do the Edinburgh Park run soon.
‘I like to think I can give hope to
those suffering from depression and to help people who don’t suffer from it understand the effects it can have on people. As I said, I am not totally better yet but I am getting there and, hopefully, my story will help fellow sufferers know they are not alone and raise awareness of depression.’
For more information on the Prince’s Trust go to www.princestrust.org.uk. For more information on the Bill McLaren Foundation go to www.billmclarenfoundation.co.uk