By jove, Gove, is the Mogg out for a jog?
TORY LEADERSHIP CLERIHEWS
Philip Hammond Says: ‘Damn and Blast! My time has passed!’ When Jacob Rees-Mogg Goes out for a jog The leisurewear he sports Includes a top hat and pin-stripe shorts. If James Cleverly Were called Beverly He’d be Beverly Cleverly And so he’d lose heavily. Liam Fox Ticks one crucial box; To his credit, he Dropped Adam Werritty. Boris Seldom quotes Horace But quote him I must: ‘We are but shadow and dust.’ David Davis Thinks the way to behave is To repeat ‘the best possible deal’ Until we all start to squeal. Michael Gove Thinks it’ll behove Him to support Mrs May (Until the end of today). Grant Shapps Wants it kept under wraps That behind the next coup Will be Grant Shhh... you know who. Damian Green Is seldom seen. He’s a safe pair of hands, With no further plans. Chris Grayling Has only one failing: Try as we might, We dislike him on sight. Liz Truss Thinks, ‘If Theresa falls under a bus It might just be me Who’ll be the next leader but three.’ Amber Rudd Tries to staunch the flood By repeating ‘strong and stable’ As often as she’s able. Karen Bradley? Come again? Sadly Her profile means nought Beyond the Dept of Culture, Media and Sport. Andrea Leadsom Dreads some Reporter asking her who She’d support in a coup. Priti Patel Would be a hard sell To those with a leaning Towards Justine Greening. Jo Johnson Is Mick Ronson To Boris’s Bowie (ie: duller, less showy). Michael Fallon Does 70 miles to the gallon But will the party say yes ter A Ford Fiesta? Ed Vaizey Affects to be hazy But saying ‘sooner rather than later’ Is the best way to bait her. John Major Refuses to wager On the next PM ‘I never thought you’d ask. Yes. Well. Ahem.’ Theresa May Has this to say: ‘You’ll not see me off Cough! Never! Never! Cough!’