Are families just too selfish to care for their elderly parents?

THE call from Justice Minister and GP, Phillip Lee, for families to care for their elderly relatives themselves struck a chord with me. I’ve cared for my mother, Marion, who will be 88 next March, since my father died in 1998. She is totally dependent on me for dressing, eating and drinking, getting in and out of bed, going to the toilet and other needs. To perform these tasks properly, in a caring and sensitive manner, can take me up to 90 minutes every morning, so to expect home help to perform just a few of these tasks in a 15-minute care visit is ludicrous. The last thing my mother says to me before she goes to sleep and the first when she wakes up in the morning is: ‘You love me, don’t you?’ Of course I do! The elderly need to be looked after in a sensitive, caring and friendly environment. But most of all

they need to be loved, and the best people to provide that care and love are family members. Peter Henrick, Birmingham.

THE increase in women’s state pension age from 60 to 66 means that those who would have been in a position to care for elderly relatives are now forced to continue working into their older years. Claire Maplethorpe, Bridgnorth, shropshire.

PHILLIP LEE hit the nail on the head with his comments on social care and our selfish society. People should think more about their responsibilities instead of convincing themselves that ‘the state should do it because we’ve paid for it all our working lives’. P. LaCey, nottingham.

IT ISN’T primarily that we are too selfish to look after our elderly parents (Mail), but that historically it was the homemaking woman’s role. Women’s liberation took them out of the house — and that is a choice women rightly have. But as a direct consequence, the economy is now geared towards the two-income household, and for many women working is no longer a choice but a necessity: the average adult can’t support a family alone. People have to

go where the work is, or where affordable homes are, and this often means moving far away from parents. If Mr Lee wants to encourage people back into an old-fashioned sense of responsibility towards family, he needs to ensure that tax and support policies are geared towards the traditional family unit, not ever more trendy individual lifestyle ‘choices’. Women (or men) who elect to stay at home to care for family should be rewarded for the social good they do, the amount of money they save the state, and — most importantly — the immeasurably huge contribution to human happiness they make. Victor LaUnert, matlock Bath, derbys.