No, I’m not cold in hot pants

Poppy Toyne is 14 and lives with parents Hayley, 42, a freelance marketing consultant and Andy, 50, a contract manager for a construction company in Branston, Lincolnshire. She has a sister Scarlett, nine.

POPPY SAYS:

1 WHY can’t you knock when you come into my bedroom? When I complain I could have been undressing, you say you’ve seen it all before. But that was when you were changing my nappy!

2 WHY do you consider it appropriate to post baby photographs of me in the bath on Facebook and Instagram, and then tag me in them, which means all my friends can see them, too? That is just so embarrassing.

3 I WAS fuming to discover recently that you actually stalk me on social media and have settings on your phone so that if I post anything on Twitter, Facebook or Instagram you get an alert. I know I’m only 14, but what about trust?

4 I’VE caught on to your trick of shouting upstairs to tell me tea is ready, then I come down to discover it won’t be out of the oven for ten minutes, and you just want me to set the table while I’m waiting.

5 MY SISTER will tease me about liking a boy and then you join in, like you’re a big kid. You think it’s funny; it’s not.

6 WHEN I wear short skirts I get a lecture about pulling them down before I leave the house, even though all my friends dress that way. And, no, I won’t be cold in my hot pants and crop top.

7 WHY do you insist I can only take the train into Nottingham, which is only 40 miles away, if a friend’s parent is going too, even though my mates are allowed unaccompanied?

8 WE BOTH wear size five shoes, but that doesn’t mean you can wear my trainers. What if my friends saw you?

9 WHY do you give me such a hard time when I don’t answer my phone on the first ring? I feel like I am tagged.

10 IT MAKES me so cross when I ask you to explain why you’re telling me to do something, and the answer is: ‘Because I said so.’

HAYLEY SAYS:

NO SURPRISES there. I know she’s straining at the leash, and wants her independence, but she’s only 14. I wouldn’t be doing my job if I didn’t keep an eye on her.

Her comments about clothes made me laugh. Whatever the weather, she’ll try sneaking out the door in what is essentially a 1950s bikini!

Poppy gets £40 a month for walking the dog, emptying the dishwasher and tidying her bedroom — none of which she ever actually does.