Don’t you dare call my husband manful ... because it’s sexist
HE meant to praise a young patient’s father but his choice of words has landed a consultant in hot water.
Colin Baillie said Billy Martin had ‘manfully’ stepped in to take his daughter to an appointment when his wife Jo was ill.
But the couple condemned the paediatric surgeon’s comment in a letter as sexist and were so angry they posted it on social media.
They received the missive two weeks after Mr Martin took Jessica, three, to see Mr Baillie, who has more than 30 years of experience.
The consultant wrote: ‘Unfortunately her mum could not be at the clinic visit today as she has not been well and father stepped in manfully.’
The couple, of Chorley, Lancashire, claim they could not imagine him using ‘womanfully’ in the same context. Mrs Martin, 33, said it had even left her feeling guilty for not struggling through and taking Jessica to Royal Preston Hospital as planned.
‘The consultant did not know that I was the one who was supposed to be taking her,’ she said. ‘As far as he should be concerned, fathers and mothers should have equal responsibility for taking their children to hospital.
‘I couldn’t take her because I was ill and was already distressed about not being there.’
The mother of three said the appointment had gone well but she was shocked by the follow-up letter.
‘I read it out loud and I was like, “What? Surely I read that wrong”. I thought, “They can’t have put that”,’ she said.
‘It’s ridiculous. It is terrible. It’s so sexist. It’s like when people say “Dad is babysitting”. Not if they are his children.
‘It’s assuming that women are there to do the childcare and men will step in when the woman is not available, which is really sexist.
‘Stepping in “manfully”. Would I have done it “womanfully”? I don’t know what the consultant was thinking. We had images of my husband in a Superman cape like a hero for taking his daughter to an appointment.’
According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the definition of manfully is: ‘In a manful way, bravely.’ Manful is defined as: ‘Brave and resolute, especially in a difficult situation.’
Mrs Martin, a freelance typist who also has two sons Samuel, six, and George, one, believes it would not have attracted comment if she had taken Jessica instead.
‘The consultant is not going to say that I have “womanfully” taken my daughter to the appointment,’ she said. ‘There is no chance he would have used that phrase or said that “Mum stepped in”.
‘I shared it on social media and nobody could believe it. One of my friends said, “Is this real?” It’s ridiculous in this day and age, it feels very old-fashioned.’
Her husband, 35, a web designer, added: ‘It is the strangest of words. It’s more of a gender stereotypical thought process that went into those words.’
‘I was just taking my little girl to hospital. We are both responsible for caring for the children. There is no “this is your job”, it’s what needs doing gets done.’
Karen Partington, chief executive at Lancashire Teaching Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust, which r uns Royal Preston Hospital, said: ‘We apologise if any offence was taken, that was not the intention.
‘ Our priority i s to provide excellent care and make them and their families feel as comfortable as possible while they are being treated.’
‘I don’t know what the consultant was thinking’