Our baby’s gift of life
Pregnant mother knows daughter won’t survive ... but she’s giving birth anyway so girl’s organs can help save others
WHEN Hayley Martin was told 20 weeks into her pregnancy that the child she is carrying has no chance of surviving, she was devastated.
A scan revealed that the baby girl does not have kidneys or a bladder and will die during labour or just after birth.
But instead of terminating the pregnancy to avoid the trauma of a stillbirth, Mrs Martin has decided to carry on to full term – so that she can donate her daughter’s viable organs and give other babies a chance to live.
She and her husband Scott hope their baby, already named Ava-Joy, will live on in the children she saves.
Mrs Martin has also vowed to donate one of her own kidneys in honour of her daughter as soon as she has recovered from the birth.
She said: ‘Our child is going to die no matter what, but if we can try and save somebody else, the grief we are going through, it will all be worth it.
‘It was not an easy decision but it was the right decision and it has helped me cope with the heartbreak. A part of her will live on, she won’t be completely gone. She will be alive in somebody else.
‘I have days where I can get through the day and I’m fine. Then there are days when I break down and all I do is cry because I can’t do anything to save my child.’
Mr and Mrs Martin, from Hull, who are both 30 and already have three children, were thrilled to learn they were expecting another baby earlier this year. But at the 20-week scan they were told Ava-Joy has a rare genetic disorder called bilateral renal agenesis. She does not have kidneys or a bladder, and her lungs are so underdeveloped she will never be able to breathe.
Mrs Martin said: ‘I was in floods of tears. I nearly collapsed on the way out to our car. I was in shock. Every time I went for a scan I was desperately hoping they were wrong. You can’t feel anything other than numb.’
She and her husband did not take long to decide against a termination. Mrs Martin added: ‘I will be sad when she’s born because I know that every moment will be getting closer to her passing away. It’s heartbreaking. I see other pregnant mums happily expecting and I feel such sorrow.
‘Even walking past pregnant women on the street or seeing babies in the supermarket can leave me in floods of tears. But I am determined to create something positive out of this agonising experience.
‘I also know there will be babies out there who could have a chance of life with AvaJoy’s healthy organs. Why should two babies die if one can be saved?’
The baby will have to weigh a minimum of five and a half pounds to become a donor. Doctors say it is likely that she will be able to pass on her heart valves, liver cells and pancreas.
Her parents, who have daughters Kiowa, seven, and Layla, five, as well as twoyear-old son Oliver, will then write letters to the recipients to thank them for helping their daughter live on.
Mr Martin, an events firstaider, said he felt like he was ‘choking’ when he found out Ava-Joy’s fate.
He said: ‘We went home that night and couldn’t say a word to each other.
‘Hayley went upstairs and sank into the bed, just lying there in the dark.
‘The only thing we had bought for Ava-Joy at the time was a white baby blanket. Hayley has slept with it every night since we found out.’
Ava-Joy’s due date is January 25 but it is likely she will be induced in Christmas week so that she is not stillborn.
If she doesn’t pass away during labour, doctors are hoping Mr and Mrs Martin will have at least a few moments with their daughter while she is still alive.
Mrs Martin said: ‘Even if I get just one second of her opening her little eyes and looking at me, that would be a moment that no one can ever take away from me.’
When she passes away her organs and tissue will be retrieved and she will then be put in a ‘cuddle cot’ which cools the baby’s body and prolongs the amount of time parents can spend with their dead child.
The couple will be able to dress Ava-Joy in the outfits they have bought for her and take photographs.
Mrs Martin added: ‘I don’t feel like a hero. I’m doing it because it is something that I’ve always been taught – treat others how you wish to be treated.
‘As a family it has made us a heck of a lot stronger.’
‘There are days when all I do is cry’