stay How to sane this Christmas
RACHEL KELLY had a nervous breakdown as she hosted her annual party. It took two years for her to recover. Read her survival guide to the most stressful time of year...
CUT WASHING-UP
AT CHRISTMAS I use paper plates and cups and disposable cutlery for some meals, to minimise washing-up (though it’s hard toadmit tosuch un-domesticgoddess-like behaviour).
While I’m a believer in keeping sugar levels as stable as possible to avoid mood swings, our children love Magnums and choc ices, so I offer them instead of Christmas pudding — and again, there’s no washing-up.
STICK TO ROUTINES
juST because it’s the festive season, don’t alter your sleep routine too much — otherwise you risk suffering the symptoms of jet-lag even if you haven’t gone away.
All the data suggests that, as well as staying in a routine, it’s best for our mental health to get up early. People’s definitions of early vary, but forgo the lie-ins in favour of being up with our 8am sunrises at this time of year. This also means you will take advantage of the maximum hours of daylight and moodboosting vitamin D that comes from being outside.
HOLD YOUR NOSE
If you do feel your anxiety rising at the checkout till or as you realise you forgot to order the turkey, slow your breathing, making sure your out-breath is longer than your in-breath.
When we are anxious, our breathing becomes fast and shallow. Slow breathing forces our racing minds to slow down.
It can help to close one nostril with a finger, so you breathe at half the normal rate. I stop and breathe in this way perhaps 20 times a day during the Christmas madness, and I don’t mind if anyone gives me funny looks.
SOMETHING FOR YOU
IT’S easy to forget, but Christmas can be an enjoyable time — so do something you find jolly. Don’t feel guilt-tripped by putting yourself first.
Perhaps it’s going to several carol services, something I enjoy. There is evidence that singing together boosts our mood.
Carols are often full of healing, consoling and highly poetic language. Poetry has proved to be a lifeline for me. It is free, has no side-effects and helps fill up the spaces otherwise occupied by my insistent worries.
It helps with my insomnia (I can learn a poem in the middle of the night), makes me feel less alone (my poets have become friends) and gives me words to describe how I’m feeling when I cannot find them for myself. one of my favourite carols — In The Bleak Midwinter, by Christina Rossetti — was originally written as a poem, which I love.
or, for something a little more energetic, there’s always a good Christmas pop belter like Mariah Carey’s All I Want for Christmas Is you, pumped out at high volume while you empty the bins for the umpteenth time.
THINK OF OTHERS
volunTeeRIng offers a valuable new perspective all year round, but most of all at Christmas. Research shows we can rewire our brains to become more grateful and boost our mental health.
Helping out with the education department at a local prison leaves me with an injection of thankfulness that lasts for weeks. I will be sure to fit in a trip this week.
AND FINALLY...
ReMeMBeR, you know best. Make a list of your warning signs for when you’re feeling overwhelmed as the big day nears. Put copies in strategic places.
Anticipating your triggers is the best way to defuse them — and be as gentle as you can on yourself. I try to remind myself that, for my family, the best present of all is a nice, calm me on Christmas morning.
Rachel Kelly’s The happy Kitchen: Good Mood Food, and Walking On sunshine: 52 small steps To happiness, both published by short Books, are out now.